To gift or not to gift that is the question

[louise 716]

Son told us his wife (who we/parents feel is uBPD/Nacissist) is "done with us." Her birthday is coming up. She hasnt talked to us since mid-dec (up until a week ago they lived just miles away). They just moved a couple of hours away.  I don't buy gifts for either one of them anymore - only cash. Now, though, I'm even questioning cash. What I thought I could do would be to donate the amount I would've given her, to an organization I know in the past she has volunteered with.  I would do the same thing for my son since he has gone essentially NC with me.

What do you all think? The only reason I would do anything is out of respect for my son.

[ScarletOlive]

Hi louise716,

It has to be a decision you're comfortable with. If you still have some contact with your son, you could ask him if your DIL would accept a gift or if it would upset her. Donating to her favorite charity sounds like a really good idea. You really can't go wrong with that.