flynavy
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« on: May 18, 2013, 07:30:44 AM » |
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I think I am finally getting back to the me my wife met and decided to marry... . out of the blue... . I wanted to text my exBPD/NPD gf/fiance and ask her if she wanted to join me for a glass of wine... . she would know what that meant!... . but I didn't... . a much uglier face appeared in my head of her... . the one that hit me, the raging maniac... . I saw the not cutsie, sultry voiced, woman she could put on! I didn't have to force it ... . it came to me.
As my mind starts to clear, and I heal from the pain of loosing my wife, I am seeing things not as they appear/how I want them to be, but rather as they are... . finally!
I posted these 2 posts on my Facebook to let everyone know I am back!... .
FIRST POST: I've had a little time to reflect on the events in my life after Sandie's passing as my mind seems to be much much clearer these days... . I remember telling my boys "Life ain't fair"... . I now know it in spades! The old adage... . you don't know what you got till its gone... . Well... . I always knew I was married to the most loving, caring, selfless woman! But I now realize just how beautiful she was/is and how Lucky/Fortunate I was after my first time out of the box in the world of relationships. I can't imagine being a young man in this brave new world searching for the Love of His Life! Lesson Learned - Nothing is as it appears/seems... . especially if it seems Too Good to be True... . it more than likely is. Due your due diligence if you feel in your gut something ain't right... . investigate Yellow Flags because they more than likely are Red Flags. Semper Mecum... . Numquam Periit Amor!
SECOND POST: More ramblings from an extremely grateful fortunate man... . I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who has been there for me over the past 3 years. I am reminded of a quote from one of my favorite movies... . It's a Wonderful Life"... . quote from Clarence (Sandra) the angel... . "No man is a failure who has friends--and I'm adding Family! Somebody up there likes me... . and I will never forget it!
Here is but 2 comments back from family... . one cousin who is an ACOA like me(we got through it together as kids) and my cousins husband... .
MY COUSIN: "well said my man... . why is the path to true wisdom, true love and true happiness so tough? Only God knows but you are a man of wisdom and the love you had others may never experience... . People admire and respect you, take comfort and be well bud... . wishing you some new found happiness too!... . J
COUSINS HUSBAND: "I love you, Brother, see you soon"
This is from my sister who was tremendous comfort and strength for me while my wife was in Hospice... .
SISTER: "You've made it through a very challenging experience. Through all the sorrow, pain & tears you have the realization of just how strong you are. You don't have the life you dreamed of but you still can dream, live & laugh. You have amazing boys, friends & family who are there to help you whether through guidance, listening or enjoying God's beauty. And then of course there's ME! Only ten more days before you get here & only twelve more 'til Crosby, Stills & Nash! Plus XXXX put in for time off & he & XXXXX will meet is in Biloxi. Can hardly wait! See you soon!
So I am truly a fortunate man to have been loved by a caring, selfless woman for 32 years, to have terrific family and friends.
So as Clarence put it from the movie "Its a Wonderful Life"... . No Man is Alone who has Friends... . and family. I am totally convinced that my wife watches over me... . she was the voice in the back of my head telling me to investigate the suspicious behaviors/lies and deceit... . Somebody Up there Likes Me!... . and I am grateful!
What has worked for me... . Family... . Friends... . and a little help from UPSTAIRS!
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