Mom diagnosed with BPS

[Canuck1967]

Good morning everyone.

My 69 year old mother was diagnosed with BPS last year. I believe she has possessed this disorder her entire life.

Since my father passed away 5 years ago, her disorder has become progressively worse.  Sadly, she has ostracized all of her friends, and is now in the process of doing so to myself and my siblings.

My mom`s behaviour continues to have a negative affect on my heath and my marriage.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Canuck1967

[BeachChick]

Hello Canuck1967,

I am also a new member. I am convinced my mother has BPD (she is 74) but she is undiagnosed. My father also passed away a few years ago and I, too, believe her disorder has gotten progressively worse since his passing. My mom has also ostracized most of her friends and family. I have a sister and my mom has always made one of us the good one and the other, the bad one. I have been the good one most of my life but after my father passed, I became the bad one and now my sister is the good one.

I don't have a lot of advice but I do believe that it's ok to have NC for awhile. You have to take care of yourself first. Losing what you have now (your health and your marriage) is not worth the pain cause by a pwBPD (my opinion anyway).

How did your mother get diagnosed? I have suggested to my mom that she needs to see someone but she views everyone else as being the problem... . it's not her.

[catnap]

Canuck1967

I am so glad that you have found us!  We are here to help you learn more about BPD, learn ways to help you communicate better, have tools that can reduce conflict and how you can set boundaries. 


Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

This would be a good book for you and your wife both to read: Essential Family Guide

When a family member has BPD, the illness can negatively everyone in the family system, including children, siblings, and in-laws. Senior members on the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw board are experienced with and can help you with setting boundaries, finding relief from FOG, encouraging self-care, improving your handling of relationships impacted by your BPD relative, and pursuing a path of recovery from traumatic experiences. The validation, information, and support will give you strength on your journey.

Please keep reading and posting it does help.

catnap