How I feel 6 months out.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I thought I would give you guys an update on how I feel 6 months after break up.

When I first broke up I was devastated, I was heartbroken and missed her and her son. She was on my mind first thing when I wake up and last thing before I fall asleep. she was on my mind around 90% of everyday.

about 3 months after Break up, she was on my mind about 50-60 percent, I still loved her and was heartbroken but I had simply gotten used to the fact that we were not togeather anymore.

So now 6 months out, 4 months N/C.

She is not often on my mind, sometimes she will pop into it, usually something reminds me of her, but apart from that I feel I am getting my life back. Do I still love her? yea I think so, and im ok with that. I still miss her son (my step son) so much and that fills me with guilt that im not there, but if it was my choice I would still be in his life. I still worry how I will react if/when she gets pregnant or married to her current guy ( she got with him a day after we broke up).

The one thing I still really struggle with is that I cant seem to shake the feeling that she is the 'one' . Ive never felt a bond like i had with with and that scares me that I never will.

[trevjim]

I thought I would give you guys an update on how I feel 6 months after break up.

When I first broke up I was devastated, I was heartbroken and missed her and her son. She was on my mind first thing when I wake up and last thing before I fall asleep. she was on my mind around 90% of everyday.

about 3 months after Break up, she was on my mind about 50-60 percent, I still loved her and was heartbroken but I had simply gotten used to the fact that we were not togeather anymore.

So now 6 months out, 4 months N/C.

She is not often on my mind, sometimes she will pop into it, usually something reminds me of her, but apart from that I feel I am getting my life back. Do I still love her? yea I think so, and im ok with that. I still miss her son (my step son) so much and that fills me with guilt that im not there, but if it was my choice I would still be in his life. I still worry how I will react if/when she gets pregnant or married to her current guy ( she got with him a day after we broke up).

The one thing I still really struggle with is that I cant seem to shake the feeling that she is the 'one' . Ive never felt a bond like i had with with and that scares me that I never will.

[Vindi]

thanks for posting your feelings, and proud that you made it 6 mos... . way to go!

and yes, i am sure you will think about her on a daily basis, maybe not nearly as much as b4, but she was part of your life.

No one likes breakups, they are never ever easy, there is always baggage left behind. And you took good steps on getting to where you are now.

Yes, she may have "been" the one, but you are broken up now and its time to heal your heart... . Your mind may be telling you she was the one, but realistically, its not true, cuz if it was you'd be together, it takes 2 people to make/break a relationship.

And yes, you will meet someone down the road, a healthier someone who could be that *one*.

Let your heart heal slowly, keep the focus on you and keep posting, it truly helps!

[mango_flower]

Hey Trevjim!

Thanks for the update - always good to see how people are doing, especially the people whose names were familiar in those dark days back then.

You're right where you need to be right now.  Remember that. In time, things will  get even easier!  Look at the progress you've made. 

One day, you'll meet somebody else and suddenly you'll look back and realise that she may have been your nearly-perfect, but she wasn't your perfect.  And you're so much more enlightened now (sucks we had to go through this to get there, right?) and you'll have a much better shot at a lasting and healthy relationship.

x

[Mightyhammers]

The one thing I still really struggle with is that I cant seem to shake the feeling that she is the 'one' . Ive never felt a bond like i had with with and that scares me that I never will.

Im EXACTLY the same, this crosses my mind a lot also

[Clearmind]

She is the one if you choose to not change your perception of her. Remind yourself of the facts.

Work on your feelings about yourself and why you believe that this relationship was a healthy one.

[trevjim]

Thanks for the replies, The two hardest things are that im still trying to knock her of that pedalstal in my mind, and I miss the need to feel wanted which she gave me strongly. possibly co-dependent