BPD/NPD Relational Measurements?

[Ker2See]

I have no idea if there a clinical description of this scenario, but I'm wondering if someone has experienced the same or could shed some light on this.

My uBPD/NPDm has a tendency to constantly evaluate others' love for her by a very warped measurement.  She is pretty materialistic and associates her expression of love in giving people things.  If the recipient does not reciprocate or is not as grateful as she thinks they should be, she interprets that as a lack of love for her.  Likewise if she measures others' love for her by what others do for/give her.  She get very offended and "hurt" when she's not recognized for what she does for/gives to other people.  Likewise, she gets "hurt" when people don't do things for/give things to her.  Is this characteristic and typical for someone with BPD/NPD?

[GeekyGirl]

It can be characteristic of someone with BPD or NPD to use material things to express love or affection. You'll know exactly where you stand with my mother by the Christmas presents she gives. The happier she is with someone at the time, the more elaborate the gift. She gets very offended if you don't love her gifts.

I think it's easier for some people with BPD (like my mother) to express emotion through material things instead of using words. It's less threatening. In the case of people with NPD, they may feel that they deserve the absolute best of everything and anything less than the best is unacceptable.