How to keep myself from going down the same road

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi everyone,

First, I am so thankful that this site exists. I feel an unbelievable amount of [url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation]validation[/b][/url] and relief from reading others stories. I get regular therapy through my university and my therapist told me on Friday-because we discuss my mother quite frequently- that she truly believes my mom suffers from BPD. Doing research on it, and discovering this website has more than validated her suspicion for me. Every conversation and interaction I have with my mother is dreadful. I moved out when I was 17, but before this I was just as emotional as she was and once I got out I have worked really hard to try to understand my own emotions and take things slow and not become what she is. Sometimes my efforts are helpless though, some things tick me off and I feel like I go off the handle and lose all control. I am trying to discover what specifically makes this happen for me and change my reaction, so that it isn't so dramatic. I sometimes find it very difficult to wade through the confusion of whether or not my anger is justified, or I was just triggered by something and I am just following a pattern without real reason. I am just curious to hear from people who had BPD parents and if there can be success and I can remain sane. What helps when start to feel like you are losing control?

[dancer56]

Hi everyone,

First, I am so thankful that this site exists. I feel an unbelievable amount of [url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation]validation[/b][/url] and relief from reading others stories. I get regular therapy through my university and my therapist told me on Friday-because we discuss my mother quite frequently- that she truly believes my mom suffers from BPD. Doing research on it, and discovering this website has more than validated her suspicion for me. Every conversation and interaction I have with my mother is dreadful. I moved out when I was 17, but before this I was just as emotional as she was and once I got out I have worked really hard to try to understand my own emotions and take things slow and not become what she is. Sometimes my efforts are helpless though, some things tick me off and I feel like I go off the handle and lose all control. I am trying to discover what specifically makes this happen for me and change my reaction, so that it isn't so dramatic. I sometimes find it very difficult to wade through the confusion of whether or not my anger is justified, or I was just triggered by something and I am just following a pattern without real reason. I am just curious to hear from people who had BPD parents and if there can be success and I can remain sane. What helps when start to feel like you are losing control?

[ScarletOlive]

Hi samanthapurdy,

Glad you're here but sorry things are tough right now. My mom has BPD too, so I know it can be difficult talking with mom or when things get triggered. You're not alone here.   There are so many members with similar stories to yours as you're seeing. How much contact do you have with your mom now? Are there any behaviors in particular that are causing you trouble?

To answer your question about what to do when control seems to be flying out the window, there are several cool things you can do. It can help to just become grounded and find whatever helps relax you. That includes just noticing your feet firmly planted on the floor, deep breathing, mindfulness, visualization with all five senses, or tensing and relaxing the muscles of your body from your eyebrows down to your toes. This link might be of help to you:

What does it mean to take care of yourself?

Keep posting! I know you will fit here and find a great deal of support. It might seem tough today, but you can make it. Sending you much caring for your day.