Is this normal BPD behavior?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So I've gotten to the point where I just can't take it anymore.  I was crying all the time and in a poor mental state myself.  I finally told my husband that I was seriously considering divorce and had met with an attorney.  He said he figured that divorce was a foregone conclusion, however, he had a proposal.  He proposed that we stay married for 10 years and each month he would put money away in an account.  At the end of 10 years, if I still didn't want to stay married, then i could walk away with the money.  The marriage would be in name only.  I think this sounds crazy.  I was brutal with him - told him I didn't like him, told him I didn't want to be intimate with him.  I even told him about the BPD, which he didn't know about. He had NO reaction. Not upset, not anger, not hurt, nothing.  That can't be normal.  He came back a couple of days later and told me he looked up BPD and said he sees how some of it describes him and he didn't know they had a name for big stupid  jerk.  He acts like the conversation about divorce never happened.  He is acting all lovey dovey and wanting to be affectionate with me.  I can't stand it.  He's being sugary sappy sweet with the kids. It's actually annoying.  He still doesn't own any of his behaviors, except anger.  Won't go back to counseling.  although in conversation asked about it but then hasn't said another word since.  I feel like I'm living in crazy town and I'm the crazy one. Am I crazy?  Is this normal behavior?  It seems like severe denial.  Help.  I'm worried about myself at this point.  I'm afraid he's trying to suck me back in - the recycling.

[southerngirl]

So I've gotten to the point where I just can't take it anymore.  I was crying all the time and in a poor mental state myself.  I finally told my husband that I was seriously considering divorce and had met with an attorney.  He said he figured that divorce was a foregone conclusion, however, he had a proposal.  He proposed that we stay married for 10 years and each month he would put money away in an account.  At the end of 10 years, if I still didn't want to stay married, then i could walk away with the money.  The marriage would be in name only.  I think this sounds crazy.  I was brutal with him - told him I didn't like him, told him I didn't want to be intimate with him.  I even told him about the BPD, which he didn't know about. He had NO reaction. Not upset, not anger, not hurt, nothing.  That can't be normal.  He came back a couple of days later and told me he looked up BPD and said he sees how some of it describes him and he didn't know they had a name for big stupid  jerk.  He acts like the conversation about divorce never happened.  He is acting all lovey dovey and wanting to be affectionate with me.  I can't stand it.  He's being sugary sappy sweet with the kids. It's actually annoying.  He still doesn't own any of his behaviors, except anger.  Won't go back to counseling.  although in conversation asked about it but then hasn't said another word since.  I feel like I'm living in crazy town and I'm the crazy one. Am I crazy?  Is this normal behavior?  It seems like severe denial.  Help.  I'm worried about myself at this point.  I'm afraid he's trying to suck me back in - the recycling.

[southerngirl]

*recycling, not recycling!  LOL.

[miglet]

Sounds like my husband, he is trying to hang on by being the loving, devoted husband, but has spent 3 years sleeping 3 or 4 nights a week in his gf's bed, telling me I was trying to ruin everyone's life!

I don't know the answers, still trying to find out myself what is "Normal" for BPD!

[marbleloser]

I've heard of this.It's a "love account" or something like that.I think it's a technique used to save marriages.I think he has the concept right,but the timing a little off.

You put money into an account,at certain times like when you're angry.At any time you want out of the RS,you get the money.If you don't get out,then there's a nice little bundle of money at retirement,or whatever.

It tells me that he's been concerned about the marriage enough to do some researching.This is like a last ditch effort to save it.He's being super nice and giving you space to see if you want to save it as well.

It doesn't seem to be working.