It's Been Over 12 Months, I Thought She Would Have Given Up.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's now been just over 12 months that i have had 100% NC with my exBPDgf. However i am still receiving "Silent Hang Up Phone Calls" at my office.

Why is this still going on? I thought she would have given up by now and moved on to a new target.

[Willingtolearn]

It's now been just over 12 months that i have had 100% NC with my exBPDgf. However i am still receiving "Silent Hang Up Phone Calls" at my office.

Why is this still going on? I thought she would have given up by now and moved on to a new target.

[recoil]

She may be with someone -- but that doesn't stop her from reaching out to you.  It also might not be her.  Just saying.

[Willingtolearn]

She may be with someone -- but that doesn't stop her from reaching out to you.  It also might not be her.  Just saying.

all

Ever had a gut feeling about something?  As the saying goes "Go with your gut"

Also why would anyone who didn't know me, call me on my office phone, keep 100% silent and then hang the phone up after about a minute? This happens at least once a week. Today it was once in the morning and once in the afternoon.  Why, Why Why?  It's driving me nuts.

[Gaslit]

Why, Why Why?  It's driving me nuts.

You answered your own question.

[Willingtolearn]

Gaslit.

So you are saying she is intentionally trying to send me nuts? What's her purpose for wanting to do that? As i said we have been apart for over 12 months,  and i have never tried to make contact in that time.Why can't she just move on with her life. She must know that i have no further interest in her.

[LuckyEscapee]

You know it's her.

She knows you know it's her.

That equals a continued connection in her mind.

I know it's crazy, but that's my theory for what it's worth.

[123Phoebe]

Also why would anyone who didn't know me, call me on my office phone, keep 100% silent and then hang the phone up after about a minute?

Um, is there a reason for you to stay on the line of a silent phone call for a full minute?  I've answered similar telemarketing calls... .  

them: Silence 

me: Click

I agree with recoil; might not be her.

How would it change your perception about things if it wasn't her?

[Willingtolearn]

I have never acknowledge that i know it's "Her" making these calls. I have only said "Hello" several times before the phone is hung up. I am not sure how she could know that i know it is "Her". I am just trying to understand what is going on here.

[LuckyEscapee]

Then hopefully it's not.

Those telemarketers are a pain and persistent.

I think you can register yourself somewhere to remove your number and reduce them?

[Willingtolearn]

123Phoebe

The calls are coming onto my office phone, i can't hang up immediately because it maybe a genuine call that has not connected. If it was on my home private phone then that is a different matter altogether.

How would i feel if i found out it wasn't her?  Answer elated.

[Clearmind]

How would i feel if i found out it wasn't her?  Answer elated.

JNChell - Its probably for this reason above that you care whether she calls or not.

Detaching is about getting to the stage in our recovery that we don't care if they contact us or not. Instead of putting your energy into why she is still calling after 12 months - turn your energy to why you still care!

You still have some healing and detaching to do - what could you do to change your perception of her. She is not who you want her to be.

[DeltaAlpha]

Willingtolearn,

Just curious, but do your office phone calls go through a switchboard or are the silent calls come dialed directly to your office?

Some office phone systems actually have the number-calling-you displayed. I wonder if you could get caller id added?

If not, I wonder if you could get your number changed?

just a thought . .

[Willingtolearn]

DeltaAlpha

Unfortunately the calls come direct to my phone and not through a switchboard. My phone does not have caller identity.

Some have suggested they are tele marketing calls. I do have those come through, but you can tell them because when you pick up the receiver you get the dial tone instantly as the other end has hung up. The calls i am getting you can here the receiver being put down after about a minute or so (and just complete silence)  On one occasion last year i held on for 3 minutes before the phone was hung up at the other end.

[Rose Tiger]

Say a name not hers, like, "Alice, I know this is you, stop calling me."

[recoil]

Rose.

Love it.

[Gaslit]

Willingtolearn, because she wants to know you are still on the "shelf." A possible future toy. That's all. And once she believes that you are, she will happily go away, until she feels like you aren't, and then she'll obese until she thinks you are. Repeat.

[Sleep doc]

Rose... . THAT... . IS... . GENIUS... .

Please do this JNChell just for all of us nons... . please... . please do this and just see what happens

Also - any attachment is attachment.  This is why... .