Working for love

[Depression = 72% of members]

I never had any interest in BPD, and no understanding of it until I became a grandfather, and began to wonder why my son's spouse was always angry, endlessly critical, and forever at odds with the people around her, at home and at work.

My son had difficulties in getting to work, sometimes, because his wife didn't want him to leave her alone; and then, other times, she had fits of anger, including sometimes seemingly uncontrollable rage.

Honestly, it was the anger that set me to looking around at sites that discuss personality disorders. Everybody in our family has been treated to her rages, including my grandchildren, and I don't know how to stop the rages or the fear they create.

So, I began to read about DSM and BPD and NPD, and the more I read, the more I need to know.

[GrandpaArmstrong]

I never had any interest in BPD, and no understanding of it until I became a grandfather, and began to wonder why my son's spouse was always angry, endlessly critical, and forever at odds with the people around her, at home and at work.

My son had difficulties in getting to work, sometimes, because his wife didn't want him to leave her alone; and then, other times, she had fits of anger, including sometimes seemingly uncontrollable rage.

Honestly, it was the anger that set me to looking around at sites that discuss personality disorders. Everybody in our family has been treated to her rages, including my grandchildren, and I don't know how to stop the rages or the fear they create.

So, I began to read about DSM and BPD and NPD, and the more I read, the more I need to know.

[Grey Kitty]

  GrandpaArmstrong,

I guess you are in for an education about BPD now. I wish wasn't put in the place of needing to know about it... . but I was very relieved to be here when I found it. I'm glad you are here too--you will find support and resources here.

You say you don't know how to stop the rages or the fear they create.

What I found was that I can't "stop" the rage, but you can simply leave the situation, and allow her some time to calm down.

But I also found that I could sometimes head it off beforehand. This video is a great place to start:

Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD

As for the fear... . when I decided I wouldn't stick around and be raged at, I think I stopped being quite so afraid. And I know that letting my fears control me didn't work well for me.

Hang in there... . and do keep posting here, it really helps!

 GK