not a happy bunny :-(

[jeffrey12]

im in a venting phase... .

what an absolute idiot i am for getting sucked in emotionally and then used. back to square one again. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me

for all the love i had for this person she selfishly got back into contact with me after finding out i went on a date. like an idiot i thought it was genuine! we spend time together have fun and the usual nonsense only to be tossed on the side again and told:

'i cant give you what you want?'

'i don't know what you want from me'

What the heck, so why get into contact with me, why spend time with me, why use me for medication, why flirt with me, why spend time cuddling each other and massaging each other whilst watching films. your telling me this was all to satisfy her needs at the time... . this BPD is lethal. maybe i lacked self control and allowed my emotions to get the better of me but i didn't feed my mind made up things... .

i should of listened to some of the other posters and just ignored her from the beginning, but smart arse me thought her had it under control... .


anyway, thats my little vent out. just needed to let off some steam.

[VeryFree]

Don't be to hard on yourself. You're only human.

This is what BPD-people do. The right question to ask is why we let them do it to us? Just some food for thought.

[Octoberfest]

im in a venting phase... .

what an absolute idiot i am for getting sucked in emotionally and then used. back to square one again. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me

for all the love i had for this person she selfishly got back into contact with me after finding out i went on a date. like an idiot i thought it was genuine! we spend time together have fun and the usual nonsense only to be tossed on the side again and told:

'i cant give you what you want?'

'i don't know what you want from me'

What the heck, so why get into contact with me, why spend time with me, why use me for medication, why flirt with me, why spend time cuddling each other and massaging each other whilst watching films. your telling me this was all to satisfy her needs at the time... . this BPD is lethal. maybe i lacked self control and allowed my emotions to get the better of me but i didn't feed my mind made up things... .

i should of listened to some of the other posters and just ignored her from the beginning, but smart arse me thought her had it under control... .


anyway, thats my little vent out. just needed to let off some steam.

Don't beat yourself up man.  I don't know you should say "like an idiot i believed her".  You were following your heart and it blinded you.  Nothing to be ashamed of.  Something to learn from, but not to be ashamed of.  I stayed with my BPDex for as long as I did and through as much as I did because I wanted to believe she wasn't messing around on me and it was all real.  I kept myself in my fantasy as long as I did because it felt good.

[MarcinN7]

We believe that love conquers all and it does.

But it has to be mutual.

If the other side is just with you out of fear of being alone and is saying she/he loves you out of fear of being abandoned then it`s enough for us to try as hard as we can and give all we have for this "love" to conquer the problems PD`s create.

Don`t be hard on yourself, we try our best and give them a lot of second chances and a big credit of faith because when they say "i love you", "your the only one" etc. we don't know that there is a hidden motive for those words. They lied there whole life and can be very convincing so even when we know they have a personality disorder and they try to recycle its very hard to not believe when they lie with a smile/poker face. Besides they mirror you and present you a fake mask of a perfect partner for you (in their perspective)

Your only human and a stronger one now 

[MarcinN7]

If the other side is just with you out of fear of being alone and is saying she/he loves you out of fear of being abandoned then it`s not mutual or real in the way we understand love. But believe this lie since love requires trust and its enough for us to try as hard as we can and give all we have for this "love" to conquer the problems PD`s create.[/s]

A little correction so i`m not misunderstood

[Clearmind]

Sometimes we take things to the nth degree so we never feel regret. If you hadn't you may always wonder.

Lesson in everything - you both likely wanted to stick the big toe in the water one more time. Its OK J12.

[LosingIt2]

I really don't think it's about them lying when they say they love us and then do something to hurt us not long after. They are "borderline" crazy! None of it makes sense. When they think about what love means or fantasize about living happily ever after with someone, I'm pretty sure there is circus music playing in the background. Delusional and unstable.

[Vindi]

i should of listened to some of the other posters and just ignored her from the beginning, but smart arse me thought her had it under control... .


anyway, thats my little vent out. just needed to let off some steam.

sometimes I think we think we have it under control and "fix" things, we can't and sometimes we have to learn from our mistakes, wishing we listened to others advise and what not, its a learning phase for all of us... . and i do hope you come out stronger due to this.

[VeryFree]

I really don't think it's about them lying when they say they love us and then do something to hurt us not long after. They are "borderline" crazy! None of it makes sense. When they think about what love means or fantasize about living happily ever after with someone, I'm pretty sure there is circus music playing in the background. Delusional and unstable.

Thanks for this fantastic quote. I read it yesterday and since then, everytime I think about my stbx I hear circusmusic playing. 

A terrific way to deal with painfull issues: cartonize them.

[LosingIt2]

Yes! You're welcome.

[fromheeltoheal]

When they think about what love means or fantasize about living happily ever after with someone, I'm pretty sure there is circus music playing in the background.

Hilarious!  Thanks for that.

[Bananas]

I really don't think it's about them lying when they say they love us and then do something to hurt us not long after. They are "borderline" crazy! None of it makes sense. When they think about what love means or fantasize about living happily ever after with someone, I'm pretty sure there is circus music playing in the background. Delusional and unstable.

OMG!  LOVE this.  I am gonna play this song in my head whenever I run into my ex at work.  I think it may cure my anxiety!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjedLeVGcfE

[MarcinN7]

I really don't think it's about them lying when they say they love us and then do something to hurt us not long after. They are "borderline" crazy! None of it makes sense. When they think about what love means or fantasize about living happily ever after with someone, I'm pretty sure there is circus music playing in the background. Delusional and unstable.

Haha there should be a "like" button 

[MammaMia]

Jeffrey12

Part of BPD is about power and being in control.  She needed to prove to herself that she could get you back IF SHE WANTED.  Then when she proved her point, she was free to reject you again.  

This is very common.  The best thing to do is to go NC and stay that way.  If she pursues you again, and she may, do not respond.  Recognize the relationship is toxic and must end.  Remember, she can only do to you what you allow her to do.

We have all been there.  Just like you, we have had to live and learn.  Stay strong... . things will get better if you stand your ground.