Introduction to Me

[seekinghope]

Hello, Everyone,

I am new to this group and new to any forum or support group but I need you. I am an adult child of a mother with BPD. I have endured 45 years of emotional and verbal abuse along with traits of physical abuse. I am also an only-child. Despite being as old as I am, I feel like a young child trying to find a way in life. I have experienced first hand what "no wire hangers-ever" means. I feel like an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. My mother, however, was not alcoholic. My father is co-dependent and supported me in his own way. I was married one time to an individual who was not able to commit and I am now in a 12-year marriage with a supportive spouse. My mother, however, does not like him. I have a ten year old child with Asperger's which makes it even more difficult as my mother does not understand Asperger's and does not see need to start. I am seeking a support group to learn more about how to cope with a family member with BPD. I am looking for others who have experienced and are experiencing the same traits as I am. I look forward to getting to know other members.

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, seekinghope    And welcome... . You really are in the right place for the help and solace and information you are looking for  I am so sorry for what you've been dealing with for 45 years, but so glad you are here   

Everyone here knows the pain and heartache inherent in any relationship with a person suffering with BPD, and many are here because of their relationship with a BPD Mother. Has your Mom been diagnosed? Has she ever been treated for it? Have you, yourself, ever seen a Therapist to work with what you have been dealing with?

There are many Workshops, Articles and Videos here that will help you here, but below is just a little start:

How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her Children

To find others who are posting here because of their family members with BPD (and especially Mothers; there are lots of people here because of their Moms!), this is the Message Board where you will find many senior members with experienced advice and sympathetic ears:

[L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board

I know what a BPD Mom is like... . Not my own Mom, but my Husband's; and I've been dealing with her as a DIL for 39 years! I can so sympathize with what you are feeling; I've listened to my Husband's stories of growing up with her, and seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears the rages and abuse that she generates  :'(  Though I know that I'm able to detach from her venom a bit easier than her own children can, I do see and feel what my H and his siblings deal with.

Actually, I do believe that you probably have it much worse that they do; at least they have each other to talk to and commiserate with and blow off steam with. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of that all by yourself   I bet you will find someone who is in just your situation over at the [L5] Healing Board mentioned above... . Please read and post over there when you feel comfortable; the support you will get will at least shine a little light for you to follow and embrace... .

I'm so happy that you have a supportive husband, and I wish you all the best with your son. Do you live close to your Mom? Do you see her often? Glad you are with us 

[ScarletOlive]

Hi seekinghope,

I just wanted to join in on the welcoming party. How much contact do you have with your mother now? We look forward to getting to know you and hearing more of your story. I know you'll fit here. Keep posting and sharing! Sending you lots of caring and support.

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, seekinghope... .  

Just checking in to see how things are going with you... . Have you had a chance to poke around the site?  I know the members around here have all sorts of know-how and insights and stories to tell that can lead you to healing and strength to deal with your struggles... . Let us know how you are doing, and if you need answers to any questions 

I am curious how your son with Asperger's is doing? I do know that some of the skills you will learn here can help you with your communication and understanding of him and his needs, also... . If you can keep us posted, that would be VERY cool