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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Topic: Step forward tonight (Read 454 times)
me757
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 174
Step forward tonight
«
on:
June 17, 2013, 10:01:32 PM »
So my uBPDex's sister was talking to me online and at one point she said that if my ex tried to get back with me I would. It was really hard to type to her that actually I wouldn't. I admitted that I'm still weak about her but that I don't want to get back together. I think by being afraid to type that shows that I still have some hope to get back together. So in my attempt to get rid of that hope, I typed it.
This was hard because I know how her sister relays these conversations sometimes. I've told everybody outside of the relationship that I was done and it was easy. It felt more real with my ex's sister because she knows all of what I'm going through. She's seen it with all my ex's bfs! She doesn't think her sister has BPD though... . instead that she is an alcoholic. I think both obviously. I don't know how my ex would react if her sister told her I wouldn't want to get back together but I said it more for me not for her. It made it more real when I told her sister. I told her I couldn't take back someone who still was not getting treatment, and who still expected me to marry her immediately. I think this is a step forward after what has seemed like months of a plateau of healing. Hopefully this will help.
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Surnia
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: Step forward tonight
«
Reply #1 on:
June 17, 2013, 10:35:12 PM »
Yes, speaking - or typing - it out is sometimes very important. It can help us to move forward.
Keep going, me757!
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
fakename
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 444
Re: Step forward tonight
«
Reply #2 on:
June 17, 2013, 10:41:53 PM »
When I stopped quietly holding onto hope by being open with my friends in that it was an abusive relationship and I wasn't going back (even though sometimes it was hard to do so), it helped a lot with my progress because I was actually committing and taking the steps to move forward rather than just talking up a game or temporarily deluding myself.
Moving into reality is a really big step be proud Of yourself
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Validation78
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 1398
Re: Step forward tonight
«
Reply #3 on:
June 18, 2013, 06:00:43 AM »
Hi Me!
As we often hear, grieving and healing is a process. The time it takes is different for everyone, and the steps are just that, steps, and it sounds like you just took the next one. Probably bittersweet, however, a positive one that you can celebrate on your healing journey to peace!
Best Wishes,
Val78
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leftbehind
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Re: Step forward tonight
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Reply #4 on:
June 19, 2013, 11:35:27 PM »
Well Done
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