I messed up

[changingme]

My ex went away this weekend with his girlfriend and before he had to chance to tell me, our daughter told me he was going on a trip with his friends... .

She is very honest and open with me, but she felt she had to hide the truth in order to not get me upset or to avoid any possible fights between me and him... .

All I can think right now is WOW! How the role is reversed. I used to be the one having to make up stories to her because for awhile she didn't know there was a girlfriend in the picture.  Wow because I it shows I have failed to be rational and stronger in these situations in the past so she wanted to avoid it completely all together.  Wow to myself because I have failed as a parent here. 

Not a good feeling at all

[Suzn]

CT let's back up a minute. I can see how upset you are, breath my friend. We've all had our moments, you are human. You are working on your own growth and that takes time. Secondly, BPD is treatable. Finding the right T will absolutely help. Your daughter is still very young and if she has emerging traits then a T will be able to see this.

What do your coping skills look like? Finding your way to center yourself will help set an example for her. Mom goes and takes a hot bath and does breathing exercises when she get's upset. It's ok to be honest with her about that. It's ok to take a time out when you need one.