Has Anyone had their ex leave for someone else they dated many years prior?

[Pretty Woman]

My ex GF fits the bill of someone who has BPD however she never informed me she was formally diagnosed.

She told me she has ADHD and frontal lobe issues?

So she recently left me for her ex from 10yrs ago. Has anyone had that happen... . your partner leave you for someone they hadn't been with immediately before you or way down the road?

Are they still with this person? Did it last?

I am trying to get over my gf (still fresh) but I am curious about this and if anyone has any opinions. They have stayed friends all these years. Her ex was with one partner for ten years (currently divorcing) and my ex had about five all lasting under a year to two years max. Does anyone think this will work?

[Octoberfest]

The question of "will the relationship my BPDex is now in work" is one all of us seem to die to know, yet it is NOT any important question.  Before I explain why though, I will give you an answer.

No, I don't think so.  But, I could be wrong.

First off, they are exes.  It didn't work the first time.  One thing you can bank on is that she has not changed her ways, so the same problems will be there. 

People with BPD do not see relationships in the same way NON's do.  For pwBPD, relationships are sustenance.  They feed off of them to survive, and when they are dry and have run their course, they abandon them from new ones.  I don't know that there is any "making it work" with a pwBPD.  Not unless you are very comfortable with infidelity and lying.

Normal, healthy people see relationships as partnerships.  They do not exist to sustain both parties, but rather for both parties to rise to new heights and go places in life that neither could reach without one another.  There is give and take.  In a relationship with a BPD, there is only give on your part, and take on theirs.

However, whether your BPDex "makes it" with their new (or old) partner is not important.  And trust me, I know that seems wrong, I still find myself sometimes hoping that my BPDex crashes and burns with her new guy just for self validation.  But it is true.  Many of us cannot see life without our pwBPD anymore.  We have lost sight of that.  It is not uncommon for them to become so engrained in our lives that we cannot imagine them not being there. But it is a transition we must make back.  We are all on this board because our BPDex's behaved in ways or caused problems that were to great for the relationship to survive.  It can be VERY VERY hard to truly walk away from our BPDex's for a variety of reasons; we feel as though we are abandoning them, we cannot imagine not being with them, etc.  But it is something we must do for our own sanity.  Having them continue to be a presence in our lives in any capacity can be incredibly hard at the early (and even later) stages.  I feel very sorry for those who must continue to be in contact with their BPDex's because of children or other issues.  I myself am working to a point where I could be around my BPDex if I had to- not that I will be trying to or want to, but if I should ever see her, I want to be able to still walk forward with a smile on my face and not be affected by it.

Being on this board means you want to start over in a sense; start life again without your BPDex.