Why after all this time do I still fear being dragged back in?
In a relationship with BPD, we give so much of ourselves to them, that they take control of us, our emotions, our sanity. That's why it is not easy even after a breakup, because they are still in control. We are so trained to take care of them, that we forget ourselves. It's all about them.
In such situations, I read my notes on all the 'Red Flags', things I didn't like about him, about relationship, times when he abused me emotionally. That would gives me strength to maintain my stand.
About missing them, yes I have been there, till few hours back. Interesting realization (also mentioned in various articles and posts) that they don't think like us and don't feel the way we do. While you are busy thinking about her, she must be busy finding a replacement, somebody new who can her next victim. Believe me or not, I am saying this from experience, BPDs are skilled at finding easy replacement because their needs are most important for them.
So this time is all about YOU. Take care and reflect. Make notes on why you don't want to be with her.
