Was this your first BPD or one of many?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey all,

Was this your first relationship with a BPD or one of many?

Besides your BPD ex did any of your friends have BPD or any pd?

Just curious if this is the first encounter or several?

[Deleted]

Hey all,

Was this your first relationship with a BPD or one of many?

Besides your BPD ex did any of your friends have BPD or any pd?

Just curious if this is the first encounter or several?

[Bananas]

My first BPD/NPD.  But my 3rd long term with a PD.  1st was dBipolar and alcoholic, 2nd uBipolar & alcoholic.  I see a trend... .  

Oh and my brother is dOCD and I think uNPD.

[BenTired]

My first BPD... . Over 20 years ago I had a LTR with a girl who was diagnosed as a Manic Depressive which today is called Bi Polar. Since I have admitted to my friends what is going on, two of them have admitted to me that their first wives were BPD.

[papawapa]

Looking back on it I believe all four women I had the longest/closest relationships with were likely BPD

[Emelie Emelie]

My XHB was finally diagnosed as BiPolar.  And when I was first reading about BPD in this relationship I clearly recognized an ex-Best Friend.  I was like OMG that's it! 

[ObiRedKenobi]

I've certainly dated some women that weren't entirely stable. I don't know about a PD or not but this is my first and hopefully only BPD.

[Hurtbad]

I have dated two:  the first, about 15 years ago, was textbook BPD... . a huge idealizations phase followed by anger and splitting of the first magnitude. I was actually afraid of her and had no trouble leaving after 9 months.  The recent one was the love of my life, but who could not handle being alone, had horrible mod swings, argued about everything in circles and could be incredibly angry and cruel.  When it was good, it was heaven.  But it was exhausting and I was always walking on eggshells.  Anyway, she decided we needed a break, then three days later flew to another city to meet to selep with a guy she met on facebook.  They are in love. I had not even moved out.

The point of this story is that she broke my soul.  She crushed me.  But thanks to this site and a good T, I am doing better.

[struggli]

Well, the GF before the most recent ex was dBPD, but her behavior was predictable.  She sort of always kept me at a distance.  Maybe she was low-functioning?  She would yell at me and tell me to leave her house, I'd leave and she'd call me half an hour later being calm/affectionate/etc and asking me to come back to her.  It was like clockwork.  To be honest, it never really wore me down.  It was kind of comical to me in a way.  Maybe that's twisted or whatever, but I'd start to laugh about it.  It didn't really hurt because it was so expected, I guess.

The recent uBPD ex was more of a long periods of greatness with long periods of misery (at least for me).  3 months of bliss, followed by completely cutting me off with silent treatment, followed by her loving me again and promising never to cut me out of her life again, followed by pushing me away again a couple months later.  Complete dissociation from me every time.  I went from being the best thing in her life to nobody at all.  Repeat.  About the fifth time, I just gave up, finally seeing the pattern that didn't seem to stop.

  The first girlfriend = I always knew were I stood even though it wasn't an ideal relationship.  Never really developed a deep love even though I still cried when we broke up.

  The second girlfriend = It seemed like I'd found my soul mate and then for seemingly no reason (except maybe something minor) she'd bail on a whim.  For some reason that was SOO much harder to accept.  "Steep peaks and deep valleys."



Now I feel like the crazy one, so I'm staying away from women until I feel 100% healed.  Don't wanna go through this again.

[danley]

First encounter with being in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD symptoms. I still think today, WTH?  I've told my ex that I haven't met anyone who treated me with much disregard. But then I remembered... .

The Only similar relationship was a Co worker and roommate who was diagnosed bipolar manic depressive. That was a heck of an experience. I believe he was BPD too tho.  We became good friends. He had similar symptoms of my ex but more towards the sullen and sad side. But like my ex, he had paranoia and rages and disordered thinking that drove me and the other roomies up the wall. Everything was somebody else's fault. He was critical, mean, and did a lot of self affliction. He couldnt get a long with anyone as his true self unraveled over the years. Slowly by slowly all his friends became sparse as they would get picked on and raged at by him. I was the last one left standing at our apartment as everyone else had enough and moved away or got kicked out by him. It got pretty bad and I moved out after he said he was going to punch my face. I left and months later he texts me to say he misses me and he was so sorry for all that he did. I accepted his apology but out relationship isn't as close as it was before. It was easier to walk away from my friend versus my ex probably because the intamcy factor wasn't there. Plus when it became physically violent, I knew it was time to get the heck away.

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone like my friend. My ex comes close in some aspects but what symptoms I've experienced with my ex is more than enough. The lessons learned from our relationship has been noted and highlighted for future reference.

[Deleted]

I forgot to add,

War have you guys done/.will do in order to prevent another relationship with a BPD

[crystalclear]

Definitely the first r/s with a BPD. However, i believe one of the girls i am friends with recently is displaying a peculiar behavior - still trying to figure out what triats those are.

We became very good friends, but the more i know her i am wondering if it is BPD. Too early to say anything, can't put my finger on it quite yet.

CC