FOG

[crystalclear]

I don't think i am entirely out of FOG yet. Perhaps the obligation was never existent but the Fear and the Guilt lingers on.

My FEAR now are the TRIGGERS that slower my healing process. I have boxed all the pictures, gifts and mementos, moved the hundreds of emails and chat messages into another folder - unsure if i would ever discard these, but deleted all his numbers and messages a long time ago. I have not yet re-activated my FB account, don't have the courage to view his profile as i am sure i will have the urge to and see his status messgaes, pics of happy in his new life, with his wife, his friends (who i knew) - his happy days, will kill me.

My guilt is to have wasted an year, spent all my money and give all my love to a person who was worthless.

Waiting to get out of the FOG.

[shaggysoul]

Crystal, you have come so far and have so much insight! You really are someone that many of us newer people can look to for inspiration.

I wish I could take your pain away.

He is married already?

[crystalclear]

  shaggysoul,

Thank you for those kind words. I am still learning and working on myself on the path to healing as you and all of us here are.

He got married last month to someone he and his family picked. Just what he wanted, to get married before the end of this year. It is just heart breaking to experience all of this so quickly. Well its good its over and i do not have to be with a man who did not respect me or love me towards the end of the r/s.

But my fears still exist, and so does a bit of guilt.