Thoughts please on this...

[Nearlybroken]

During my relationship with expwBPD there was always something that concerned me... . his obsession with his step daughter.I am not suggesting that there was anything "untoward "going on but it was a very strange set up indeed.She is now 15... . 11 when we first got together.Had been in my ex's life since age of 6 but constantly had regular contact with her father (at least once per week).My ex was obsessed with maintaining contact with her and would (and still does) abandon everything in order to spend time with her.Examples of his infatuation:

1) Shouted at me once as he perceived I was saying that he ,as her step father was less important than her real father and that there was a difference between a real father and a step father.

2) kept my existence a secret from his ex wife for  years for fear she would not allow him to have contact with the child.

3)Became hysterical once when the child saw a dress of mine  at his old place and her mother said she (child) had a dream that he had fathered a child with someone

4) Posts stuff on FB about parenthood

5)Ensures that he behaved as her " best friend" , bought her things that she was not allowed to have and told her to keep it a secret... . let her watch videos etc that her parents forbade her to watch.

I have only met this girl once and she is extremely immature.My ex is currently living at my old flat and when we met to discuss finances I noted that there were pictures of this girl everywhere plus lots of cards that she had made  for his birthday that ,quite frankly looked like they had been drawn by a 5 year old "Happy Birthday to my second Daddywaddy".He was telling me that she is his priority and once of the reasons we had to split up was that he had to make sure she was OK.he asked me if he could paint a room pink so she could stay over and if she could have a key to make her feel more "secure". I went into  the room where she had slept and it looked like a childs room... . not like a 15 year old's room.I should point out that the child lives with her mother and father now as they reunited so she has a stable family unit.My ex was saying how he wanted to keep her a child forever and how great it was to hang out with her as they were on the same level and got on so well.I just found it all strange and I know he has become more obsessed with her since our split.

I find the whole thing very umcomfortable... . I would probably feel worse is she acted like a mature 15 year old but hs ehoonestly presents as an 8 year old

has anyone else experienced  anything like this?Can anyone shed any light on why he has this need to spend so much time with her and will drop everything just to spend a few hours in her company ?he has even lied to friends about being at work and has later been seen with his step daughter in town (his ex wife was also there )

[Nearlybroken]

Aoplogies for any typos... . I am on my work computer and it will not allow me to see what I am typing!

[Suzn]

PwBPD are emotionally stunted. Him telling you they were on the same level may shed some light. Then again, there's no way we would know what's going on or what else he may or may not be thinking.

[Nearlybroken]

He is certainly emotionally stunted.His T confirmed that.Plus he told me that she is the only one that "gets" him(he is 40 ). I just wondered if this type of behavior is "common" amongt BPD... . becoming obsessed with something/someone.