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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Set Back
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Topic: Set Back (Read 333 times)
jalbright
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 51
Set Back
«
on:
July 23, 2013, 08:27:50 PM »
So its now been about 2 months since i broke up with my gfwBPD and she moved out. its been about 3 weeks since we had talked until tonight. It was the longest since we split and i thought at that point that it was basically it going to no more contact. Then she calls tonight twice so i decide to pick up unfortunately. She quickly became upset begging to take her back and how much she's learned and now understands since we split. Says how hard shes been working with therapy and all, which is good for her. It breaks my heart hearing how much pain is in her.
While ive been battling a lot of loneliness i was feeling okay and moving on, this call caught me off guard and has some guilt and second guessing creeping back in now
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Clearmind
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5521
Re: Set Back
«
Reply #1 on:
July 23, 2013, 08:37:57 PM »
You can work with that guilt jalbright. Its so tempting to want to save her from herself however you would not be doing her any favors by doing so.
She needs to find her feet without you or without someone enabling her. She is in pain and she hurts, just like you are right now - its these emotions that will help her get better. If you interject - it would be a set back for her because its not therapy that is saving her - its you.
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