How does his family not see it?

[Mcgddss]

So, I am less than 2 months into all this.  My uBPDh's family is less than 1 month.

A court awarded me a restraining order.

How does his family not see that he has a problem?

I can't believe he is that good at hiding it for this huge of a chunk of a time.

He has our kid's IPad - a gift from my family.  Why don't they see that as stealing.

Other perspectives please!

[mamachelle]

Hi Mcgddss,


Have you seen this link?

TOOLS: Family systems--understanding the narcissistic family

It may shed some light on things. It's best to focus on yourself and kids. No one else 'gets it' like you do.

I do have this issue with my current DH's family in regards to the needs of my step kids who have a BPD biomom who lives across the country from us. DH and I have his 3 sons all the time now. We need help and DH's family just ignore requests but act like all is ok and act so loving and compliment me on how well I raise the 6 kids.   They blame biomom and are happy she moved away but tell my step kids things like oh... . if mamachelle wasn't here- who would take care of you? 

I've begun to suspect my MIL has uNPD and my SIL is enmeshed and in denial and is favored and... . sorry to go on.

The main thing is that you have to protect yourself and your kids.


mamachelle

[Xtrange]

So, I am less than 2 months into all this.  My uBPDh's family is less than 1 month.

A court awarded me a restraining order.

How does his family not see that he has a problem?

I can't believe he is that good at hiding it for this huge of a chunk of a time.

Other perspectives please!

While I was in the r/s with stbxBPDw I had no support from her family, I assume they think that they have being discharged from a big problem. My mother in law always told me “She is your wife now and she is your responsibility”

[Ishenuts]

When we were dating, my future SIL told me her brother was "controlling" and she was glad that she thought I could stand up to him. My MIL was very sympathetic and couldn't understand "why he does what he does" All that changed with the divorce. I am the bad guy now. I guess "blood is thicker than water". I just pray they don't conspire with the uNPDexH to alienate the children from me.

[motherof1yearold]

Oh mcggds,

I feel you and all of the emotions swirling around right now.

I have the same feelings almost every day. My ex stole MY CAR (not his car, my car) , even had his attorney send me a threatening letter to 'not ask about the car anymore' . It took me 3 months to get it back. I had to wait until he finally got really drunk one day and needed a spare key, so I seized the opportunity and got my car back. The worse part- is his family insisted that I illegally turn MY OWN CAR. They knew that he hadn't paid 1 red cent on it, and that I fully own the vehicle, yet they still were trying to get the car back. It is mind blowing! They just feel entitled to everything! (PS it is a very nice car , not a beater)

On top of that, his parents and all of his family think he is some perfect person. They blame me for his getting caught with drugs, his stealing from his parents, his beating me and getting charged, anything you can think of. It's all my fault.

I think it is like that because if they admitted anything wrong with their son, it would hurt their ego, as they were the ones who raised him.