I haven't been visiting this site as much as before. I met and gone out on a few dates with a girl who so far seems normal and is actually in dental school. She has a good head on her shoulders regarding many topics we speak about, she's a complete 180 from my BPDex while I am enjoying myself and being careful looking out for any
. I'm not hyper vigiliant of course but I am taking it slow. I still find myself thinking about my ex from time to time (with a decreasing frequency) but not in a missing her type of way but a "I hope I never see her or run into her again". I guess one could still say I am working on the shock she has left me with. However, I do enjoy going on dates it feels great, it's been a while since I've done things that have snapped me back into the old me *minus the old traits that caused ME to think my BPDex is acceptable* I feel like I have finally stretched my legs out. I'm starting to not care or at least not over think why is my BPDex still making small talk with my family or how could I have been discarded, does she think about me, I guess I could say my journey has bifurcated and I'm started to take a path of just let it go deleted, you can't really define her actions with logic, look at yourself too for allowing such behavior and make sure it doesn't happen again. It feels strange, last time I was just really focusing ON ME, damn perhaps 3 years ago. It feels good and weird at the same time. Just felt like posting this, anyone going through the same thing?
Ps. I'm not in any way linking my happiness or my success in getting over my BPD with this new girl. I'm finally putting myself out there and shutting myself up when I say "maybe I'm not ready maybe I won't have a good relationship because of my ex". Forget that. I want to do something that makes me happy & enjoy life because it's about time I get out of this void that my past relationship has left me in.