Boredom in the aftermath

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've been seeing a new guy.  He's really smart and nice and handsome and, well, boring.  I'm trying to remind myself that all that heat and passion and intensity wasn't really healthy.  I want to give this a chance.  I don't want to let this crap screw up any future relationships! 

[Emelie Emelie]

I've been seeing a new guy.  He's really smart and nice and handsome and, well, boring.  I'm trying to remind myself that all that heat and passion and intensity wasn't really healthy.  I want to give this a chance.  I don't want to let this crap screw up any future relationships! 

[peas]

Right on, Emelie.

One time when I was upset with my BPD guy when he was guilt tripping me about our long-distance r/s, I said if he wants me to let him go to find someone local, then I will let him go. He said he didn't want that. Then I said to him, "If you have the capacity to love me, you have the capacity to love someone else." Meaning, he'll find love again locally if I can't give it to him.

Now that he and I are broken up, I remind myself of my own words- -- if I had the capacity to love him, I have the capacity to love someone else.

I am starting to look at other guys now. I'm not ready to get "enmeshed" again anytime soon, but there is a man who works in my building and out of nowhere I have found myself attracted to him. It's kind of fun when that feeling comes back to you, that feeling of seeing someone and being interested. I have seen this person every week for months never thinking twice about him, but the other day we struck up small talk outside since we always see each other around the building, and now I look at him differently. He's cute.

You may feel like you lost that feeling when you lose the BPD person, but you don't lose it.

[lisasport]

I'm going threw the exact same feelings. I had to go on zoloft to recover. Empty

[Violista]

I dated another guy after breaking up with BPD ex, and absolutely adored him, but compared to BPD ex something about the whole thing seemed bland and seemed to lack the kind of passion that BPD ex had about him.

I got back with BPDex eventually, and all the warmth and fulfillment that i'd been missing without him came back... . and so did the fighting, stress, tantrums and shock at the things he is capable of. Sigh. Now we ended it again and part of me wants to stay the hell away, and part of me feels like nobody is as interesting and fulfilling as him, and misses him. But my feelings for him don't have quite the same intensity anymore.