Not allowed to masturbate...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Now I'd say I'm pretty detached from this past relationship... . almost dating again. Personal one this, so best to post anonymously. My uBPDex would not let me masturbate. Would rage if I masturbated, literally scream. Would check up and make sure I wasn't masturbating. Masturbation was only permitted if it was a part of pleasuring her, or I was away. Literally I was called sick, a nymphomaniac all sorts... .

Now as far as I was concerned she could masturbate whenever she wanted. Is this a BPD thing?

[Undone123]

Now I'd say I'm pretty detached from this past relationship... . almost dating again. Personal one this, so best to post anonymously. My uBPDex would not let me masturbate. Would rage if I masturbated, literally scream. Would check up and make sure I wasn't masturbating. Masturbation was only permitted if it was a part of pleasuring her, or I was away. Literally I was called sick, a nymphomaniac all sorts... .

Now as far as I was concerned she could masturbate whenever she wanted. Is this a BPD thing?

[Moonie75]

Undone123, You need to work on posting anonymous posts dear boy!   

[bpdspell]

My heavens... .

It's not a BPD thing its a controller abuser thing... .

If you don't have permission to hold the reigns over your own body then what's the purpose of living... . ... .

Spell

[Moonie75]

I don't remember mine having any issues with me masturbating, but boy did she pleasure herself much more than any other partner I've had.

That said, she didn't take kindly to me stripping butt naked in the street one lunchtime!

[Moonie75]

And the toys! OMG the self pleasuring toys!

When Hugh has his 100th birthday party at the Playboy mansion, she'll be able to supply enough toys for the dude to lavishly garnish all 60 bedrooms!

[Undone123]

man I laugh about it now... . but at the time I thought something was wrong with me. Like i was a serial masturbating sex pest who aught to be locked up.

So it's an abuse control thing... . That helps for the future

[Moonie75]

If you were masturbating in public & near children i fully agree with your ex. Bpd or not she had every right to be angry & you do indeed need locking up sir!

If it was in private then I think we can say you've nothing to feel bad about 

[Undone123]

If you were masturbating in public & near children i fully agree with your ex. Bpd or not she had every right to be angry & you do indeed need locking up sir!

If it was in private then I think we can say you've nothing to feel bad about 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... . I think I only plucked up the courage twice. Private and stress related. Never again. RE: Your getting naked note. I did something similar at a couple of parties which she thoroughly enjoyed. I think because it made people laugh, and fulfilled a narcissistic need.

[Moonie75]

Nobody's gonna touch this thread now. It's got too weird!

[Undone123]

Nobody's gonna touch this thread now. It's got too weird!

hahaha definitely. Nice to know it's ok though!

[babushka]

I can relate. My exBPDexbf found an old toy while "organizing" my things while i was out and he blew up and had a complete meltdown all night.

[hanginon]

My BPDw has had all sorts of control issues about masturbation. Porn too, especially porn.  She can be an incredible control freak.  Sometimes porn was bad, sometimes it was ok... . everything depended on what she was ok with at that point in time. The big thing with her was that she wanted to know what I was thinking about when I masturbated. She had to know every detail... . in great detail. To me it was the same as someone else posted... I told her to have at it... . it didn't bother me if she did. I have at times been made to feel like I was some sort of a freak about it.

[Moonie75]

Anybody that ever tried to stop me masturbating has been told "If you won't let me do it that's fine... . So you'll have to do it for me"

I was either allowed to continue, or sometimes did indeed get it done for me. Which left both hands free to finish making dinner!

[MessedWith]

My BPDw has had all sorts of control issues about masturbation. Porn too, especially porn.  She can be an incredible control freak.  Sometimes porn was bad, sometimes it was ok... . everything depended on what she was ok with at that point in time. The big thing with her was that she wanted to know what I was thinking about when I masturbated. She had to know every detail... . in great detail. To me it was the same as someone else posted... I told her to have at it... . it didn't bother me if she did. I have at times been made to feel like I was some sort of a freak about it.

My ex was a major control freak too.  Sometimes it turned her on if I admitted to masturbating or watching porn, other times I was a degenerate for doing that.  As hanginon said, "everything depended on what she was ok with at that point in time".   

She was also extremely controlling about who could initiate affection and sex. If I tried to initiate anything I was made to feel like a sex addict trying to use her body.  But if she got horny and initiated sex, well that was a different matter entirely and I better not refuse!  Such a controlling, inconsistent hypocrite.  Drove me nuts trying to figure out what she wanted.

[Undone123]

My BPDw has had all sorts of control issues about masturbation. Porn too, especially porn.  She can be an incredible control freak.  Sometimes porn was bad, sometimes it was ok... . everything depended on what she was ok with at that point in time. The big thing with her was that she wanted to know what I was thinking about when I masturbated. She had to know every detail... . in great detail. To me it was the same as someone else posted... I told her to have at it... . it didn't bother me if she did. I have at times been made to feel like I was some sort of a freak about it.

My ex was a major control freak too.  Sometimes it turned her on if I admitted to masturbating or watching porn, other times I was a degenerate for doing that.  As hanginon said, "everything depended on what she was ok with at that point in time".   

She was also extremely controlling about who could initiate affection and sex. If I tried to initiate anything I was made to feel like a sex addict trying to use her body.  But if she got horny and initiated sex, well that was a different matter entirely and I better not refuse!  Such a controlling, inconsistent hypocrite.  Drove me nuts trying to figure out what she wanted.

I got that as well. Sometimes if I tried to initiate it, she'd literally make me feel like a rapist. Awful.