So the continuous "I love you and I care" worked... . I guess because he really needed all the attention. He started talking to me again after I gave him a massage and had sex with him one morning. He said that I could be caring and loving the way he likes me to be, but I am only like that when he gets upset at me. I am sure continuous validation on him works.
Viso, please re read what you wrote. While you may feel you got what you wanted which was his attention you endured 3 weeks of stonewalling. Only YOU were the one to be the one groveling at his feet. You won't be able to keep this up because the weeks of abuse will start to happen more frequently and for longer periods than the 3 weeks you just endured. You'll continue to try to be the angel he want and when he needs sex from you then you might get a bit of affection from him.
In other words don't reinforce bad behavior. When kids are bad you don't placate them and allow them to be bad. As a parent you want to teach your kids good behavior gets rewarded not bad behavior. And bad behavior from a child generally receives discipline if not punishment. Now you aren't trying to discipline or punish your husband as he is an adult not a child but you are attempting to have boundaries for yourself so that you are treated with respect and compassion.
