Sad about what is

[Our abuse recovery guide]

My nephew's birthday is this month. We're not invited. It's the right call. My sister wants to celebrate her son's birthday and not inviting me (and my family) will make that easier on her so I get that. And it's not like I want to go and be in the same room with my sister and mother anyway. I go to the family parties I'm invited to (since my minor children want to go) but it's awkward and stressful.

But it's still sad. It's a sign of how dysfunctional my family is. I wish I had a healthy family, one with little disagreements maybe (no one's perfect, right?) but still able to be there for each other, enjoy each other's company.

Instead I got a family of abuse and rage and dysfunction. A family that is bad enough that I am better off distancing myself.

Going VLC was the right choice for me and I know that. I am happier, I am a better mother, I am all around better off and more at peace with myself. I'm not questioning that decision.

But sometimes I just have to feel a little sad that my family is such that I have to make decisions like this in the first place.

My sister's decision to not invite me to the party is the right one in my opinion and I'm not in any way knocking her for making it. Just feeling sad that this is what my family-of-origin is. Accepting, but sad, you know?

[BlueCat]

My nephew's birthday is this month. We're not invited. It's the right call. My sister wants to celebrate her son's birthday and not inviting me (and my family) will make that easier on her so I get that. And it's not like I want to go and be in the same room with my sister and mother anyway. I go to the family parties I'm invited to (since my minor children want to go) but it's awkward and stressful.

But it's still sad. It's a sign of how dysfunctional my family is. I wish I had a healthy family, one with little disagreements maybe (no one's perfect, right?) but still able to be there for each other, enjoy each other's company.

Instead I got a family of abuse and rage and dysfunction. A family that is bad enough that I am better off distancing myself.

Going VLC was the right choice for me and I know that. I am happier, I am a better mother, I am all around better off and more at peace with myself. I'm not questioning that decision.

But sometimes I just have to feel a little sad that my family is such that I have to make decisions like this in the first place.

My sister's decision to not invite me to the party is the right one in my opinion and I'm not in any way knocking her for making it. Just feeling sad that this is what my family-of-origin is. Accepting, but sad, you know?

[P.F.Change]

  It is good to acknowledge what you are feeling. It is a sad situation, but one you seem to be coping with very well. You sound like a very strong person to do what is best even when it hurts.


Wishing you peace,

PF

[BlueCat]

Thanks I feel like I am a strong person. Now at least. Not so much when I was in the thick of things but the longer I spend away from them (VLC) the stronger I am and the more able I am to be the person I want to be. A person I can respect, who I would actually like if I met her as opposed to who I was before. Still a work in progress but then, I guess all humans are