Am I stuck on the hook?

[cwd9]

Recently started talking with my BPD ex again. We have been apart for two months and are now seeing how things are going. She wants to take it very slow which is actually very smart and healthy in my opinion but she  still wants to text daily and hang out on a regular basis. But without the actual title of a relationship I guess. She is starting university soon, working at the same time and starting dbt so she has a lot on her plate. I'm just confused on how it all affects me. It seems like a weird situation since she wants to talk and hang out but doesn't actually want to be with me.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[123Phoebe]

Hi cwd9 and

She wants to take it very slow which is actually very smart and healthy in my opinion but she  still wants to text daily and hang out on a regular basis. But without the actual title of a relationship I guess.

I love the saying, "Actions speak louder than words".  It seems to be especially fitting when dealing with a personality disorder.

Does daily texting and hanging out regularly seem like the way to take things slow?

Are you basically doing everything you'd normally do with a 'girlfriend'.  Just not labeling it as such?

Are you getting vibes that this is more of a friendship, while she continues to search for 'the one'?

Something in between?  :)ating each other?  

What happened 2 months ago to prompt this break?

Does it feel like you're right back where you were back then?

What do you want and how would you like this relationship to develop?

[cwd9]

I guess it doesn't really make sense to do all this if we are supposed to be taking it slow. i just like to see her though


It does seem like more of a friendship than anything else right now i guess. We have talked about wanting a future together but she has told me a relationship is the last thing on her mind right now.

I am usually the one trying to make the plans while she is the one being smart and telling us to take it slow. It's just very hard when I love her and want to see her.

Seems she has no plans of being with anyone else. she just is taking care of herself right now which is smart. just makes things hard/confusing for me