We're our own worst enemy

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

5 weeks out today!

Been a roller coaster week & a half. Yesterday was horrendous & I really struggled from the moment i got up till I went to bed again last night.

Today though for no reason other than randomness I seem to feeling fine. Didn't hear from her yesterday or today so it's all down to me, my thoughts & my mind. We really are our own enemy when the thoughts come flooding in, then fooling ourselves when they don't. I know I'll have other horrid, low, desperate days. I know too I'll have other better days. But it's all down to me because she's not here, she's not doing this to me, I am!

[Moonie75]

5 weeks out today!

Been a roller coaster week & a half. Yesterday was horrendous & I really struggled from the moment i got up till I went to bed again last night.

Today though for no reason other than randomness I seem to feeling fine. Didn't hear from her yesterday or today so it's all down to me, my thoughts & my mind. We really are our own enemy when the thoughts come flooding in, then fooling ourselves when they don't. I know I'll have other horrid, low, desperate days. I know too I'll have other better days. But it's all down to me because she's not here, she's not doing this to me, I am!

[clairedair]

Hi Moonie75

I started seeing a new therapist a few months ago because I was getting so frustrated with myself for letting ex take up so much of my mental energy (and consequently a good deal of my physical energy).

One of the things she told me that really helped was that my brain needed to be 'rewired'.  That years of walking on eggshells has my brain 'wired' in a certain way and it will take a bit of time to 'rewire'.

I've read a few articles about recovering from emotional abuse recently and that's helped me to stop beating myself up so much about letting this relationship still affect my life.  We are under a lot of pressure from those who care about us to move on as quickly as possible.  This comes from wanting us not to be upset but they cannot understand the complexity of dealing with the ending of such confusing relationships unless they themselves have been through something similar.  That's why coming here helps.

Doesn't mean we don't have to put in the hard work at times and focus on our own issues but we do need to be patient with ourselves.

It's good that you recognise that there will be bad days and good days as this definitely isn't a linear process.

take care

Claire