What does your gut tell you?
My gut tells me to invite her. But my wife tells me not to. My daughter is ambivalent.
When I ask my sisters they say they don't want to be in the middle.
At the last bat mitzvah she picked a fight with my uBPD father (they have been divorced for 30+ years but for her it has been 30 minutes).
My wife says that if I invite her I need to contact her now in an attempt to avoid her creating problems at the event. My gut tells me that if I try contacting her now that may create more problems. I am not sure why my gut is telling me that but it is.
I was reading about the upside down triangle and the 3 faces of victim after I posted yesterday. It fits perfectly. Just not sure how it helps me in this situation.