A movie quote that has stayed with me after my 2 cycles with ExUBPD gf

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I haven't posted my intro yet but I will shortly but thought I would share this.

This is a movie quote from scifi movie Looper(with Joseph GordonLevitt) that stuck with me after my 2 cycles with my exUBPDgf(she left me both times, 2nd time even more coldly then first but pattern of behavior, Idealize, Devalue, Discard EXACTLY the same). Here is the quote,

"Then I saw it, I saw a mom who would die for her son, a man who would kill for his wife, a boy, angry & alone, laid out in front of him the bad path. I saw it & the path was a circle, round & round. So I changed it."... . This is how my relationship felt like with her, especially the 2nd time when I knew exactly how it would all play out before me and still let her come back into my life only to destroy me thoroughly like the first time. The path(relationship with her) was a circle... . Round & round(1 recycle)... . So I changed it(only thing to do to stop the horrific, sad, soul destroying behavior that awaits all us Nons). So far it's been 41 days NC. The first time around it was 3 months NC before she re-engaged me and I gave in. It is why I am here.

Like the ending scene in Avengers, I tumble from space to Earth. Except this time, there is no Hulk that will save me.  :'(

[Ironmanrises]

I haven't posted my intro yet but I will shortly but thought I would share this.

This is a movie quote from scifi movie Looper(with Joseph GordonLevitt) that stuck with me after my 2 cycles with my exUBPDgf(she left me both times, 2nd time even more coldly then first but pattern of behavior, Idealize, Devalue, Discard EXACTLY the same). Here is the quote,

"Then I saw it, I saw a mom who would die for her son, a man who would kill for his wife, a boy, angry & alone, laid out in front of him the bad path. I saw it & the path was a circle, round & round. So I changed it."... . This is how my relationship felt like with her, especially the 2nd time when I knew exactly how it would all play out before me and still let her come back into my life only to destroy me thoroughly like the first time. The path(relationship with her) was a circle... . Round & round(1 recycle)... . So I changed it(only thing to do to stop the horrific, sad, soul destroying behavior that awaits all us Nons). So far it's been 41 days NC. The first time around it was 3 months NC before she re-engaged me and I gave in. It is why I am here.

Like the ending scene in Avengers, I tumble from space to Earth. Except this time, there is no Hulk that will save me.  :'(

[Moonie75]

2 cycles with my exUBPDgf(she left me both times, 2nd time even more coldly then first but pattern of behavior, Idealize, Devalue, Discard EXACTLY the same). Here is the quote,


Like the ending scene in Avengers, I tumble from space to Earth. Except this time, there is no Hulk that will save me.  :'(

I learned from my 3 years which included 5 recycles, that each time the idealize, devalue, discard cycle through quicker each time & the discard gets more cold, hurtful & aggressive each time!

I believe it's because each recycle is filled with more guilt from things they've put us through so that extra guilt makes us a bigger trigger to bigger amounts of shame. Each time round the odds are worse, the stakes seem higher & the pressure to hold it together too great to be contained. BOOM!

[Ironmanrises]

 Moonie,

Yes... . Agreed. The outcome is the same. They leave. And the pain they leave you with... . beyond words. I still tumble.

Ironmanfalls