almost a year latter and it still seems like a bad dream

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's almost been a year since I found out about my exw affair.  She has a lot of issues - ptsd,antisocial, extremely codependant, UBPD, OCD,  but still I can't beleive to this day that she would ever cheat - and it still floors me who she has become - I understand that BPD is a mental issue and I know that she is just mirroring her new boyfriend - but It still amazes me that she can drop a loving husband of 19 years and black out all the great memories from the last 19 years.  It amazes me how she just moved on so quickly and I still haven't went out on a date (yet I get blamed all the time for being a womanizer who has had all these affairs).  I will say things have gotten better in my life - but to this day I still struggle trying to make sence of it all. :'(

[cal644]

It's almost been a year since I found out about my exw affair.  She has a lot of issues - ptsd,antisocial, extremely codependant, UBPD, OCD,  but still I can't beleive to this day that she would ever cheat - and it still floors me who she has become - I understand that BPD is a mental issue and I know that she is just mirroring her new boyfriend - but It still amazes me that she can drop a loving husband of 19 years and black out all the great memories from the last 19 years.  It amazes me how she just moved on so quickly and I still haven't went out on a date (yet I get blamed all the time for being a womanizer who has had all these affairs).  I will say things have gotten better in my life - but to this day I still struggle trying to make sence of it all. :'(

[Reg]

Hi cal644

Sorry to hear about that !  I think the most important thing you have to remind yourself about is that is is not you, but the borderline and other problems.

Unfortunately the borderline mind is something we will never fully understand, she hasn't blacked it out completely, she is just living in a world of her own.

Perhaps it is time to stop to try to make sense of it all and go further with your own life.  That is not always easy, I've been there myself, but it is the best thing we can do.

Hang in there ! We are all here to support one another !

Reg