Half heartedly planning

[Washisheart]

I can't (mentally) live like this much longer. The feeling alone even though you're not alone. The not knowing how long I won't matter until he bothers to like me again. Over his own crazy scenario. And he obviously doesn't care how this is affecting me.

I can't (financially) do anything right now. I killed my credit and my finances dealing with him for 4 1/2 years.

So I started talking to a friend of mine who lives in another state. She welcomed me up there and I am really thinking about going Next year. Just fitting what I can in my car and leaving.

I love this man to death. But I am so tired of him treating me and acting like I am disposable and don't mean anything.

[lockedout]

I don't know much about your situation; married or not, kids, joint assets/debts. But is he's a true BPD it doesn't get better. They back off for a while until they see you feeling better about yourself then they rip right back into you again; each time is worse that the last. In a literal sense, I loved her almost to death; it nearly destroyed me and I was a shell of a person when I left.

Eight months later, the issues are far from over, but I've still come a long way. I've even met someone and I must tell you it feels strange to be around someone with whom I can feel "safe". She lives far away, but I'll take it - at least it allows for more healing time in between visits.

All I can say is that if the situation is that bad, work on an exit strategy, as opposed to waiting for him to "like" you again which is just him buttering you up so you're vulnerable for the next attack.

[Washisheart]

She'll of a person, it's how I felt in the past and what I am trying to fight off right now.

We live together, I have a daughter that he has been helping me raise. Although once he found out he can't have kids his attitude about her has changed

[Surnia]

Hi washisheart

I can relate to your feeling: "being alone with someone else"!

Talking to friends about the own difficult situation is a good start! Thinking about making changes too! You are telling it halfheatedly. It needs time and preparation.

Although once he found out he can't have kids his attitude about her has changed

In which direction? Worse or better?