success drives them crazy

[suffering_parent]

On the surface the BPD looks like they leave you and are having so much fun in their new life.   The reality of it is they are an emotional mess barely able to hold it together.

My wife is going crazier as every day passes.   Why?   Our success without her.   Our family life is improving every day.   No more screaming at me and the kids all day long.

I right away stepped up my own self-care which lacked for so many years.   I knew I had to eat right, sleep, and exercise to maintain my sanity.   Sleep was the hardest at first.

I managed to put about 15 pounds of muscle on since she has left.   It is driving her friggin crazy.   She emailed my lawyer saying I was eating all the food and starving the kids.   Even sent pictures of me and the kids to her!

The reality is I am cooking for all of us.   We are all eating well and being taken care of.

[yakki]

Good for you. Keep up the good work.

[huhhuh]

your example sure sounds like it. Maybe they don't like that the power they thought they had over us suddenly have shifted.

Keep up the workout. And enjoy that envious look at her face

[Reg]

Hi atvfan

Good to hear that your life is improving and take care of one another.  I started power training myself several months ago and feel a lot better also !

Sorry to hear the kids had to experience screaming to them as well.  You did the right thing.

From what I've learned on BPD, it seems to be frustrating for them to see that you don't need them in your life anymore.  Remember, it's all about being abandoned in their fears.

If they still have contact or can remain friends, it gives them the feeling that the outside world will see that the mistake was not largely on their side, but that mistakes were made from both sides (which is the case anyway).  It gives comfort to the borderline mind.

If however you don't want to have to do anything with them, it looks as if they are to be blamed for everything.  I've seen and read several examples where the borderline mind projects everything back to you, to make it seem as if they don't want to have to do anything with you anymore.

The borderline minds always looks for a way not to have to cope with the shame and blame.  Completely irrational to us, but normal to them... .

Reg