Angry and tired

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I have an aunt who is very BPD. I have tried to be a supportive person to her but I am now done. I just need some support to make it through her blasting smear campaign.

I had to set boundaries with her the other day because she was mad at me for something which really was not her concern and she was texting me and messaging me nasty mean accusations until 230 am when I told her it I was done and that she had no right to talk to me this way and to please stop. The next day I wrote her an email and set very clear boundaries with her. I told her that her way of communicating when she is mad is called verbal abuse. I told her I needed a break from all communication from her for a month and then we would try again and she would have to follow my boundaries. They were simple. No name calling, no talking behind my back, when I say stop she needs to stop, no laundry lists of past things that she keeps a list of brought up and to be respectful. Well that did it, she went off and called me names and a liar and how mean I am to her and how she is such a victim, then she tells other people in the family who then ignore me because I am so mean to her. She then posts on facebook about how she let go of a negative stone in her life, but she is made because this stone still continues... .

this is not the first time but it will be the last time, I will never talk to her again. My stomach has been hurting I have had nightmares. I also have PTSD from being abused by her sister (my mother) and being in foster care. I want to yell at her and defend myself however I know the best thing I can do is to say nothing and act like what she is doing is not bothering me I am not friends with her on Facebook anymore.   

[walgreens]

I have an aunt who is very BPD. I have tried to be a supportive person to her but I am now done. I just need some support to make it through her blasting smear campaign.

I had to set boundaries with her the other day because she was mad at me for something which really was not her concern and she was texting me and messaging me nasty mean accusations until 230 am when I told her it I was done and that she had no right to talk to me this way and to please stop. The next day I wrote her an email and set very clear boundaries with her. I told her that her way of communicating when she is mad is called verbal abuse. I told her I needed a break from all communication from her for a month and then we would try again and she would have to follow my boundaries. They were simple. No name calling, no talking behind my back, when I say stop she needs to stop, no laundry lists of past things that she keeps a list of brought up and to be respectful. Well that did it, she went off and called me names and a liar and how mean I am to her and how she is such a victim, then she tells other people in the family who then ignore me because I am so mean to her. She then posts on facebook about how she let go of a negative stone in her life, but she is made because this stone still continues... .

this is not the first time but it will be the last time, I will never talk to her again. My stomach has been hurting I have had nightmares. I also have PTSD from being abused by her sister (my mother) and being in foster care. I want to yell at her and defend myself however I know the best thing I can do is to say nothing and act like what she is doing is not bothering me I am not friends with her on Facebook anymore.   

[GeekyGirl]

Hi walgreens and welcome! 

It's never fun being the subject of a smear campaign. I'm sorry that things are so difficult between you and your aunt right now. That does sound stressful.

What would you like to see happen from here? How often do you usually see your aunt?

Sometimes you have to protect yourself online too, so perhaps de-friending your aunt on Facebook is one way to make sure that you have privacy and don't have to see her posts.

Hang in there.   There are many of us here who have relatives with BPD and understand how difficult it can be.

-GG