An obituary printed in the paper - your opinion?

[Sasha026]

The offspring of a woman who died last month penned a harsh obituary for their late mother, who, the obituary said, spent her life subjecting them to horrible abuse.

Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick's obituary, which has since been removed, originally appeared in the print and online edition of Nevada's Reno Gazette-Journal on Tuesday:

   Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.

   On behalf of her children whom she so abrasively exposed to her evil and violent life, we celebrate her passing from this earth and hope she lives in the after-life reliving each gesture of violence, cruelty, and shame that she delivered on her children. Her surviving children will now live the rest of their lives with the peace of knowing their nightmare finally has some form of closure.

   Most of us have found peace in helping those who have been exposed to child abuse and hope this message of her final passing can revive our message that abusing children is unforgivable, shameless, and should not be tolerated in a "humane society". Our greatest wish now, is to stimulate a national movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America.

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What is the bet that this woman was a BPD? This could have been my mother's obit. Any opinions? Anyone copying this for the future?

[Deb]

I read about this in my local paper. They say that the children of this woman had a law written for them (Basically) so that they could divorce her. The abuse she heaped on them was some of the worst in Nevavda history. She was probably BPD and more, IMO.

[redroom]

I loved it!  I wish I had the courage to do this with my uNPDf who died a few years ago, although I had no say in what went into the obituary... .

It seems like everyone (the children, "everyone she met" mentioned in the second paragraph) knew about what kind of person she was, though.  Everyone thought my dad was a saint (the obit that was published will make you gag), and my waif/witch uBPDm is just a sweet woman who's had a difficult life (and an ingrate daughter, me). 

I really hope that they can finally feel free.  I wonder if I will.  I wonder what it'd be like if obits and eulogies were more honest.  They don't have to be hostile, but you never see one that says "After years of fighting an alcohol addiction and estrangement from her youngest son, June went to be with the Lord Friday... .  We hope that she is finally free of the demons that caused her to harm those in her care."

[Sasha026]

I saw this on a radio site and my mouth fell open. Couldn't believe it. I said to myself, "boy, if this isn't one for bpdfamily.coms, I don't know what is!" I sent it to my son and his mouth fell open when he read it. He said back to me, "Someone in Nevada knew Grandma?"

Deb, Obviously this is in your area - jeez. You say that they actually had a law written up so that they could "divorce" her? Brilliant. I should look that up. Wouldn't that be fun if we could get little pictures of all of these nasty women and put them up on a website like "Megan's Law" does for sex offenders... .but that may be a bit too much.

redroom, My mother died last February and I didn't even go to her funeral. Basically because I just didn't know she was dying. They left a message on my cell phone when she finally did die. I didn't go because all they wanted (the great state of Pa) would be for me to pay for her funeral. I already paid through the nose for one, couldn't afford to pay for two... .so they took care of her. As a matter of fact, they drove her all the way back to Jersey. I'm not sure if they were following her wishes or they just didn't want her in their state.

I know that sounds cold, but my mother was one of the worst. She was vicious to me and my family for no reason at all except to make us all miserable. I was very good to my mother, always racing to her when she needed me but she never returned the kindness. I wish I could publish something about her abuse in the paper but no one would believe me.

[Deb]

Sasha,

I am not in the area, but the paper sometimes picks up what they call "odd news".

Your not going to the funeral reminded me of when my paternal grandfather died. He was abusive and mean, from what my dad said, and changed his name regularly. The last time he was hospitalized, he used the name he had been using when my dad was born. When he died, they called my uncle, who had that last name, but was NOT my gpa's child. My uncle told them he wasn't the son of the deceased and hadn't spoken to his brother "in a long time." Then he hung up. And called my dad. He told me "a long time" was about  a month so he owed my dad a call. LOL! My dad declined to call the hospital because he knew they were looking for someone to pay for the funeral and the bill. He said he didn't owe his dad a thing.

[Sasha026]

Thanks for sharing your story about your Grandpa's death. I think a lot of abused children are walking away. I mean - how much can we take? And, how much do we have to shell out to have them buried? How hypocritical is it to stand there and hear people say "she loved you so much". I know she hated me - and the reason I knew was because SHE TOLD ME! She told me that I was an albatross around her neck just a few months before my husband died and eight months before she had a stroke.

When my mother's older brother died he left enough money to be buried with his wife in a decent coffin... .then my mother got involved... .Well, my uncle went to the other side in the cheapest coffin she could find (a pine box). I don't even think the poor man had a funeral car to drive him to the cemetery. My aunt was totally embarrassed but she just didn't have the ready cash for a decent funeral (my mother did)... .and a lot of funeral parlors will agree to fund the funeral until the insurance comes in (I know this because when my husband died, they told me that, but they lied to me and told me that the insurance wouldn't release funds - what a mess. Naturally, he met his maker on Amex.) My uncle (I think) was driven to the cemetery in a pick-up (at least that's what they told me, I wasn't there.) My mother saw to this and then helped my aunt get his money (hoping she would share - she didn't). She had no love or respect for her dead relatives and no one cared when she finally died. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she finally met her sisters and brothers in the afterlife! Ooo - nasty argument!

[nevermore]

I have had to write the obituary for my mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother and father. I'm sure I will someday write one for my mother. It will be nothing but her name, birthdate and death date. When I was writing the ones for my father and brother she would snear and say things like "don't make it all flowery about going home to Jesus.  I hate those."  Okay... .well she will get her wish.  If my brother cooperates there will be no service. She will be unceremoniously buried next to our father and that will be the END OF A VERY SAD STORY.  She has been planning for her funeral and talking about it for decades and it is all paid for but they can keep the money she spent and just be DONE.  I will not shed a tear and I know my thoughts will be about the mother I never had.  I do miss that person who never was.

[larmieq]

My uBPD mom has requested for years that her obit NOT be in the local paper.  But we should pick one out of state.

HMMM, I wonder why... .

If we put it local, what will we learn?

[Sasha026]

She wants her obit to be in another state? That's odd, but then these women are odd.

[larmieq]

Yes it is odd

Yes she is odd

[Sasha026]

I'm sorry, but that just made me laugh. Did she live in the other state? My mother's obit ran in her local paper... .but she was buried in another state near her parents.

I wonder if any of her sisters family went to the burial. Sometimes I wonder.