BP, NBD, who knows? trying to decide.

[cheaptrick]

I am not schooled on NPD pr BO disorders ,and do know that she had hypomania issues and severe NPD.

Her traits:

She will literally stop you mid sentence to talk about herself. even when she ask whats wrong and started to tell her that I missed my dad and it was his one year anniversary since his death. While telling her that, she literally cut me off to talk about something else as if she never heard me, which she

said she did , but cant control that behavior. She does this in every conversation.literally.   

She is obsessed with peoples looks constantly point their flaws out.

She will make sure she is the leader in every all girl outing and it has to be her idea.

She is always hypomanic and to often says she is the best at this or that, and then after a week, picks a fight and has huge meltdown complete with cussing em out, accusing me of things I didn't do.

extreme fits of rage and jealousy. Even if i like a friends post on FB about her child.

Here are several things I don't get. her husband divorced her and said it was due to her sexual hangups, meaning no sex. The other thing is she makes you shower no matter what, and brush your teeth before even making out and then ruins the mood with that freaky clean thing. She literally jumped out of bed to put on antigerm lip balm before going forward. She says she will not have sex with anybody unless they prove they have no STD's. Thats ok, BUT, always talks about her ex boyfriends sexual past, no matter how many times I say its inappropriate. She has lots of good qualities, but I am trying to find out of she has BPD, BP hypomania, or NPD. so If I do stick around, I can manage this. So here is where we stand.

She blew up at me the other day and for no good reason. She just went off, said to leave her alone forever, and slammed the phone down. She then unfriended me on facebook and said to never call her on a VM. Why? She thought I lied to her about a FB "like" post on another women's page.  This woman is 49 years old! My biggest issue are that she is so self centered and obnoxious publically,and literally thinks she is unbelievably beautiful. Superior in every way,and all things are about her . She said she cant trust me now is asking for 30 no contact, but she lasted 2 days,and when she does call, its about me having to honor her feelings of loss, because i forced her to break up. I call her back and she scolds me for not adhering to her no contact wishes. Strange. So I am starting to think about going no contact to and did block her on Facebook. My question is, can a narcissistic ever be managed? Should i run or stray and try to work it out? I did list all the bad things but she has many great qualities too, but for clarity of her actions, i thought that perhaps some readers would identify with the traits I listed, and let me know if its worth staying with her should she come back. She did call tonight to say she missed me, but then started acting again as if I failed to support her while she dumped me. i guess i am supposed to take the abuse like a man and placate her, so I am not sure why she broke NC, or wants to even talk given her issues she has with me. I am ready to disappear and go NC now myself. I am naturally leaning towards going away and never seeing her again, vs staying, but do want to see if anybody here as a similar partner who was saved, or fixed. thank you.

[Validation78]

Hi Harvej!

Would having a label hung her make a difference in how you feel about continuing in this relationship?

Here's a link to one of The Lessons, on The Staying Board, that will help you to identify the typical BPD behaviors:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=63511.0

It's normal to want to know what "this" is. We've all been there. Somehow it is validating to know that "it" is something! Take a look at The Lessons. There's a lot of information there that may help you to make a decision you are now pondering!

Best Wishes,

Val78