Getting my stuff back...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Long story short... .involved with a woman in a friend's with benefit situation (mistake #1).  She basically painted me black.  I told her I wanted my stuff back (shirt, hoodie, belt and blanket).  She returned the shirt and said she forgot the other stuff (this was months ago).  We had a talk... .she apologized how she was treating me and then a couple days later goes back to her same behavior.  I asked for the rest of my stuff back to end it.  She said she would bring it into work... .that was 2 weeks ago.  I have written off ever seeing the stuff again (even though I want the stuff back).  I was involved with a BPD before but never with one like this who is severly ill.

So... .just want to get a confirmation on why she isn't returning my stuff considering she has no desire to be with me.  Is she holding onto my stuff because it is a part of me and if she gives it back then she is admitting that it is over and in a sense abandoment?  Thoughts?

[OTB]

Long story short... .involved with a woman in a friend's with benefit situation (mistake #1).  She basically painted me black.  I told her I wanted my stuff back (shirt, hoodie, belt and blanket).  She returned the shirt and said she forgot the other stuff (this was months ago).  We had a talk... .she apologized how she was treating me and then a couple days later goes back to her same behavior.  I asked for the rest of my stuff back to end it.  She said she would bring it into work... .that was 2 weeks ago.  I have written off ever seeing the stuff again (even though I want the stuff back).  I was involved with a BPD before but never with one like this who is severly ill.

So... .just want to get a confirmation on why she isn't returning my stuff considering she has no desire to be with me.  Is she holding onto my stuff because it is a part of me and if she gives it back then she is admitting that it is over and in a sense abandoment?  Thoughts?

[seeking balance]

So... .just want to get a confirmation on why she isn't returning my stuff considering she has no desire to be with me.  Is she holding onto my stuff because it is a part of me and if she gives it back then she is admitting that it is over and in a sense abandoment?  Thoughts?

Hey OTB,

Honestly... .who knows and why focus on a hoodie or their issues?  You spent quite a bit of time on this forum a while back, so I know you know the BPD patterns - either could be her issue.

Maybe, focus on why go from one BPD directly into another unhealthy situation - look at you this time around?  

Best,

SB

[OTB]

yep Seeking Balance... .as always thanks for your words of wisdom.   I am looking at me and have been going to therapy.  The difference this time I am focusing on me which is new and refreshing.  I guess I am just trying to wrap my head around why she won't give these things back.  Even on the work front, she has a network cable I let her borrow and even with an email from the office manager she won't return it. 

I guess I am trying to make sense of something I will never know.  Just gotta let it go! 

[seeking balance]

I guess I am trying to make sense of something I will never know.  Just gotta let it go! 

yeah - it doesn't change anything by you knowing her issues... .let her go and give that energy to you.

[OTB]

I guess I am trying to make sense of something I will never know.  Just gotta let it go! 

yeah - it doesn't change anything by you knowing her issues... .let her go and give that energy to you.

Absolutely right!  Can you get a "like" button added to posts? 

[frustrated b/f]

I dunno OTB, this just seems petty and a way to continue contact. In fact, it reminds me of my uBPD g/f's behavior. A cat5 cable, really?

[OTB]

I dunno OTB, this just seems petty and a way to continue contact. In fact, it reminds me of my uBPD g/f's behavior. A cat5 cable, really?

yeah really... .a stupid cable?  I do training outside the organization and need the cable so the office manger told me to take it from her classroom tomorrow.  So, I plan on unplugging tomorrow morning before she arrives.  I am sure I will get some backlash, but I need this for my job.

[seeking balance]

I dunno OTB, this just seems petty and a way to continue contact. In fact, it reminds me of my uBPD g/f's behavior. A cat5 cable, really?

yeah really... .a stupid cable?  I do training outside the organization and need the cable so the office manger told me to take it from her classroom tomorrow.  So, I plan on unplugging tomorrow morning before she arrives.  I am sure I will get some backlash, but I need this for my job.

are you saying you cannot afford to buy a new one so you don't have to perpetuate the drama?

[OTB]

[/quote]
are you saying you cannot afford to buy a new one so you don't have to perpetuate the drama?[/quote]
It is not mine to replace it is company issued.  I could cause more drama by having the office manager contact her supervisor and she will get in trouble... .instead of that am going to get it myself.  She was instructed in an email to return the cable to me and go to the office manager to get a replacement.  My cable is a longer cable needed for presentations.  The ones in the classroom are shorter so she needs to get that one.  I am trying to take the path of least drama... .

[seeking balance]

  I am trying to take the path of least drama... .

Let me see if I understand 100%

- you let her borrow your company issued cable

- she has not returned it, so you are going to go into her classroom and take it back

[OTB]

  I am trying to take the path of least drama... .

Let me see if I understand 100%

- you let her borrow your company issued cable

- she has not returned it, so you are going to go into her classroom and take it back

Yep that about sums it up.

[seeking balance]

  I am trying to take the path of least drama... .

Let me see if I understand 100%

- you let her borrow your company issued cable

- she has not returned it, so you are going to go into her classroom and take it back

Yep that about sums it up.

can you see any other way to handle this without creating drama with her?

I mean, you say in your opening post that she has had this for months, why now are you pushing it? 

[OTB]

  I am trying to take the path of least drama... .

Let me see if I understand 100%

- you let her borrow your company issued cable

- she has not returned it, so you are going to go into her classroom and take it back

Yep that about sums it up.

can you see any other way to handle this without creating drama with her?

I mean, you say in your opening post that she has had this for months, why now are you pushing it? 

No she has had my personal belongings for months (I have written those off).  The cable she has had for almost 2 weeks and I need it since I will be out doing trainings.  She was ordered in an email to return it to me.  She has ignored the emails from last Thursday.  I could have her reported.  I think that this is the path of least resistance.  She will have to do as instructed and get a replacement cable from the office manager. 

[seeking balance]

No she has had my personal belongings for months (I have written those off).  The cable she has had for almost 2 weeks and I need it since I will be out doing trainings.  She was ordered in an email to return it to me.  She has ignored the emails from last Thursday.  I could have her reported.  I think that this is the path of least resistance.  She will have to do as instructed and get a replacement cable from the office manager. 

ahhh - thank you for clarifying as it was a bit confusing for me based on your initial post.

[frustrated b/f]

Its' petty Bro, my unsolicited advice is to just drop it and let the manager handle it. 

[OTB]

Its' petty Bro, my unsolicited advice is to just drop it and let the manager handle it. 

Just for clarification... .I am not a bro.  And... .I am handling it like the office manager told me to.  I am taking another job at another organization soon and I will be rid of her for good.