scared and fighting to not hang on

[simplyasiam]

i feel the last of the life and hope for the r/s sliping away. its so hard to let it die and move on. the r/s was bad from day one, im sure i have some type mental illness from living so close to this disorder for the past six years. i feel myself getting past it more and more,  yet still wanting to be with her calls to me. i know contact would porlong my recovery.

[Learning_curve74]

"Let go or be dragged."

It's hard to accept a loss like this, especially after you've been together the last six years, simplyasiam. It sounds like you are going to be living with a different reality which is scary to anybody.

Remember that letting go of the bad things in life, whether that is unhealthy relationships or our own unhealthy attitudes and unhealthy behaviors, makes space for better things to come into our lives.

I refuse to walk around carrying a box of sadness. I want to empty it out so I can fill it with joy and happiness again. 

[GreenMango]

Hi simply,

I know that feeling of going crazy just being around it.  I went to the doctor for some sleeping pills for the anxiety.  It was brief and it helped.

Have you had a chance to talk to a doctor about what you are dealing with right now?

[simplyasiam]

no dont have a doc at this time, only have one friend left that other than the ppl here that will still take to me about this. shes is the only person in my life that understands BPD and the aftermath of the r/s.

[GreenMango]

I can't tell you how much just that little bit with doctor helped to deal with the rest of the situation.  Are you able to talk with one?

We can't exhaust our friends with this stuff.  It's better to seek out the right kind of support for the more "in depth" stuff if ya get my drift.

Do you get to just hang with you friend and set this other stuff aside for a little while?

[simplyasiam]

yeah we talk about everything, she has BPD herself and shes been in recovery/treatment for a couple years. shes given me great insite into the this whole thing.