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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: told ex my boundaries  (Read 533 times)
simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« on: September 29, 2013, 12:10:35 PM »

after six months apart a never ending contact from ex i set a few boundaries for myself on having contact with her. im not sure if the boundaries are right or wrong but i feel they best for me and i know they are what im willing and not willing to deal with.

1 be willing to get help BPD and stick with it

2 not be married or pregant

3 want to rebuild our r/s

4 stop the email contact in person or phone contact only.

i told her if shes not willing to do these thing then i want the contacting me to stop!

i told her i was blocking her on f/b email and home/office phone and ill only reply to calls on cell phone no txt.

i dont think im asking to much im not trying to control her only trying to set my limits and end this madness one way or the other.

no reply from her yet and i may never get one but living on hope and in fear must stop!


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O.Hi

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 30



« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2013, 07:27:23 PM »

Sounds totally reasonable. Your boundaries are whatever you want them to be. It's OK to have them! (I have trouble with this, too)
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simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2013, 07:38:33 PM »

its been seven days now that i told her, thats the longest shes went in three months without contacting me. i quess shes not able or not will to deal with some or all of the boundaries
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eeyore
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: in a relationship
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« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2013, 08:41:53 PM »

better for it to happen this way and for you to know the answer now rather than if she lied and then hurt you.  But I know it still doesn't feel good to you now.  I'm sorry.
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simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2013, 10:01:44 AM »

you right i need to face this i need this part of my life to be over. ive let the break up control my thinking for way to long. i just dont know how to stop it!

i dont know if she will ever stop reaching out to me when she hurts. it may be up to me to rejeck her for the rest of my life and im not that strong.

my bday is on the 9th holidays are coming and fall time is here, fall is the start of her depression and it gets worse for her till spring comes. any of these could trigger her and im sure the holidays will tigger alot of pain for me.

its only been 7 days and i almost unblocked her on f/b today but thinking of more pain and rejection stoped me.
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