I finally took control and it.triggered him

[Cmjo]

Hello parenting board. Some of you might know my story, I left uBPDh a year ago, after I found this website and realised he was only going to get worse because he was splitting our children, and our eldest D11 had years of stress about her homework and never being good enough (which hurt me because she had medical problems at birth and we struggled and worried so much then she has been through enough!

After a year of me tiptoeing rond him, sending him emails asking him to talk to me about how to deal with the kids, hoping he would accept my leaving... .or even go a specialist clinic I found... .he is still angry and I am his enemy, and has left me in chaos not knowing from week to week what days henwould be with the kids or pick them up from school.

Fnally I am seeing a family mediator/psychologist and a lawyer. I wrote a plan of fixed days that we would pick the kids up, with help from his father who is cooperative. He would do mon tues and weds, I do Sun, thurs and Fri and we alternate Saturdays.

Week one  Monday went OK. Tuesday night I went for drinks after work. Was almost home at 10,30pm exhausted, my daughter rang crying saying he had called her a bhit and was in her room swearing that she had to finish her maths and she was tired. Se sounded so distraught I went to his house and she ran out crying. Then S10 ran out crying as well saying he didnt want to be left by himself but felt guilty about leaving daddy by himself. So I took them both home. I told the mediator and the lawyer. Apparently he was spotted at the school looking very strange that day. I know this pattern... .he is cracking up, and has no way of controlling his fierce behavior towards our daughter. Of course I cant send him messages or even ring him as all I will get back will be abuse. In fact, the whole thing is to provoke me into an outburst of desperation.

I myself am cracking up with stress and anxiety.

[starshine]

cmjo, it is the hardest thing to co-parent with someone who is angry and disordered.  I really feel your anxiety and frustration over this.  Just keep being there for your kids, document everything, and take care of yourself.  xoxo