What do we do now?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Bpd sis attempted to take her own life & exposed eldest child to a gruesome & traumatic scene.  We communicated with the staff at the psych center where sis has been and they are releasing her in a couple of days.  Right before being delivers from the hospital to the psych facility, sis was texting me, informing me that she will never live alone and that she planned to tell the staff that she will only try to do this again if she is forced to live alone.

No one in the family will live with her as she has been terrorizing us for a very long time.  Her children are terrified of her.  My youngsters are showing signs of stress just from the stress in our home surrounding all that has happened.

I am afraid.  The psych facility says she would have to attempt suicide a number of times before she would be out into long-term care.

How does a family manage under these hideous conditions?  I know she is going to get out and the texts, emails and calls will start again and I am just sick over it.

[stymied]

Bpd sis attempted to take her own life & exposed eldest child to a gruesome & traumatic scene.  We communicated with the staff at the psych center where sis has been and they are releasing her in a couple of days.  Right before being delivers from the hospital to the psych facility, sis was texting me, informing me that she will never live alone and that she planned to tell the staff that she will only try to do this again if she is forced to live alone.

No one in the family will live with her as she has been terrorizing us for a very long time.  Her children are terrified of her.  My youngsters are showing signs of stress just from the stress in our home surrounding all that has happened.

I am afraid.  The psych facility says she would have to attempt suicide a number of times before she would be out into long-term care.

How does a family manage under these hideous conditions?  I know she is going to get out and the texts, emails and calls will start again and I am just sick over it.

[Kwamina]

Hello stymied,

This is a very difficult situation, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Has your sister ever made any suicide attempts before or was this the first time? If she has done it before, how did you deal with it then? It sounds like she's also using the threat of suicide as a way of manipulating you.

[GeekyGirl]

I can understand your apprehension, stymied. Have you shared the texts with her caregivers at the psych center?

What could you do for your nieces/nephews? I can only imagine how difficult this is for them. Are you doing ok? 

[justnothing]

I'm sorry about everything you and the family have to go through. Would it be possible for her to live in a hostel for now? Or some kind of protective environment for people with mh problems?

[stymied]

oh dear, this really is a very difficult situation.  although i know some people say these types of acts are a 'cry for help', we can't help but feel that this was also an act of punishment.

she hasn't made this kind of attempt before but has threatened for years.  she also told another family member that a few years ago she had set up her garage to asphyxiate herself with a hose in the car tailpipe, but then changed her mind.

my brother was going to speak to the staff at the facility and he has the texts since i forwarded them to him.  i think he was planning to discuss them with the caregivers.

we are doing the best we can for the kids--lined up therapists, etc.  i am not doing very well in the midst of all of this.  i am feeling afraid for my own health and the well being of my family.

i have been reading about how to support BPD family members and the literature talks about how much love and support they really need in order to recover.  but seriously, after the beating we have all taken for the majority of this calendar year, i don't have anything left in me to give.  my family needs me and my health is compromised more and more every day with each added stress.  i haven't been this sick in a long time.

i also wonder if it's possible to ever regain any level of trust given the magnitude of what has taken place.  we are all being blamed for turning our backs on her and forcing her to attempt to take her own life.  she does have a place to live; she would just be living alone since her children won't return home and other family members are not willing to take her in.  the caregivers in the psych facility don't feel a long-term care facility is in order since this is her first real attempt.

how are you supposed to hug a cobra?  how do you invite a rabid wolverine to live in your home?

my sense is:  you can't.