exBPD and new girlfriend

[newlyhopeful]

Am feeling really upset and angry after d5 told me dads girlfriend had shower with her this morning. Ex of course thinks its perfectly ok and i need to mind my own business. I say it is my business. I cant imagine getting in the/shower with anyone else!s child. I dont know how to process this. Do I take it up with her?

[DreamGirl]

First, I do think it's a valid concern.  It's good not to panic or freak out - even though I can imagine being incredibly uneasy.

So, let's talk about it. 

For what it's worth, I used to throw my little ones in the shower with me when I was running late to save on time. It was just easier. Maybe it's a judgment call on the GF's part - not realizing that it might not be OK with you.

Was your daughter uncomfortable?

Does she shower with you?

Does she bathe with siblings?

How well acquainted are you with the girlfriend?

How long has she been in your daughter's life?

Does she have children?

-DG

[Vindi]

yes, i'd make sure 1st that your daughter was comfortable, cuz if she was

not you need to have this stopped.

I do know that taking a shower with your kids is ok, up to a certain age,... .

I too think it is weird to have your ex's gf being the one to shower

with your daughter.

Talk this over with your daughter, and set some boundaries about this

with your ex.