helping them cope after the break up?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

my ex BPD g/f has fallen in to her depression stage again and now says shes found out she has sundowners sybdrome.

she turned to and im being of what help i can to her and still protect myself

its very hard as i still may not totaly over the break and we do talk some about starting over.

stuff like this is why i have never been one to get close to ppl outside my family. once i care about them i give my all for them even if they cant be there for when i need them

[simplyasiam]

my ex BPD g/f has fallen in to her depression stage again and now says shes found out she has sundowners sybdrome.

she turned to and im being of what help i can to her and still protect myself

its very hard as i still may not totaly over the break and we do talk some about starting over.

stuff like this is why i have never been one to get close to ppl outside my family. once i care about them i give my all for them even if they cant be there for when i need them

[Tricky]

simplasiam, I think she's manipulating you and the situation.

Question: are you responsible for her? Or her illness?

Answer: no you are not.

Q: Will she ever change?

A: Almost certainly not.

Q: Do you want more of the same?

Your call.

[Suzn]

Sorry to hear this. That's a hard, lonely road simplyasIam, to be there for people, always, and never expecting any reciprocity. To a degree this is a kind hearted way to be, how is this always putting others ahead of your well being taking care of you? How old is your gf btw? Sundowners syndrome is generally a symptom of on-setting Alzheimers and/or dementia in the elderly.  

[simplyasiam]

im not with her i have a r/s with a nother wmen im lending a ear to someome i know hurts. it is  playing with fire i know that but i turn my back on no one i care for.

i know her highs and lows very well she always falls into depression this this of year.

whats the worst that could happen?

[Suzn]

whats the worst that could happen?

Well just for starters, one thing that could happen is her always looking to you for support and not seeking a professional to get help. Emotionally, she could be stuck forever. Adding to that, depression can become very serious. These are just some examples for her well being.

For you, losing your current gf, since you say you are talking about possibly starting over. Does your current gf know you are struggling with this?

[simplyasiam]

puting others 1st comes ez to me as long as its mt family or close friend, thats why i only have two friends i couldnt give my all to every one i know that would kill me. the family and friends i do have are  the same with me if i need or wan it they give it and most times brfore i could even ask. thast how we were rasied by the kindest strongest hardest working man ive ever met ... .my dad

she 30 seems strage she would have sundowners at her age.

[simplyasiam]

i talk to ex all the time about her counsling and keeping up with it. if i just walked away that would give her a better chance of seeking help? i think not!

yes the girl i see now knows i talk to her, ive been very up front with her about and how ex may never go totaly away

[Suzn]

i talk to ex all the time about her counsling and keeping up with it. if i just walked away that would give her a better chance of seeking help? i think not!

Thanks for clarifying. Agreed, she can benefit from your support here if she is keeping up her counseling. Yes, 30 seems rather young. I'm not a doctor however I have read it's primarily seen in the elderly.

[simplyasiam]

im not sure how she found this out. i know she acts a little diffrent druing the day and nite. i didnt really get at 1st but for a  week or so she would messagae druning the day and be like herself but almost every nite now around 9 she messages me something short about being confused or not feeling like herself/ never get a reply from here till the next day

[Suzn]

Is it possible she feels more like herself after hearing from you?

[simplyasiam]

that could be it im not sure and i read that at times ppl with sundowners get bad at the time of day when they use to do something like coming home from work or what ever. i know around nine is when we were just getting settled in for the nite.