am I correct?

[Ms Mac]

just trying to understand and get the abbreviations correct here

I have an undiagnosed 17 year old daughter so would the abbreviation be - ud17?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, Ms Mac  

To the right-hand side of this page you will find all sorts of great links to Articles, Workshops, Videos and more information. There you will find a link (Glossary and Abbreviations Key) that will explain all the strange hieroglyphics you will find now and then in the threads... .Your daughter, indeed, could be abbreviated to "ud17" or uBPDd17 for the longer version, or udd17. We aren't anal about it  

I've noticed in your other comments elsewhere that you are truly suffering from the real possibility that you will be in No Contact with daughter in the near future, and that the stress and trauma of your relationship with her has been terrible for you and your family. I would like to encourage you to take advantage of the information in the various links I mentioned above, especially the TOOLS. Many of us have found that once we understand how our BPD loved one's mind works, and then learn how to use the communication skills of Validation and S.E.T. (links right across from our posts here), things really can improve.

Though we can't change the way our child acts (or anyone else for that matter!), we can change the way we relate to them, and once we stop inadvertently pushing every one of their buttons, they most likely end up reacting differently to us, making things better. Please take advantage of all the information we have available here: the TOOLS and LESSONS on the right-hand margin are remarkably helpful!  

[Ms Mac]

thank you and yes I plan on doing all the reading etc I can, but realise it will take time, and with me being new here I have barely scratched the surface

[Rapt Reader]

Hey, Ms Mac... .

Understanding our children with BPD (my own adult son who is 36 is the reason I am here) seems entirely impossible without the Articles, Workshops & Books that are out there explaining what BPD is, how our child's brain works, and how to deal with it.

I know that until I read the information linked to above (and also to the right-hand side of this page; check out The Lessons, especially the Tools for Communication), I had no idea how to talk to my son or how to deal with my own confusion and pain over how he was acting. Though we cannot change our children (or anyone else, either!), once we change how we communicate with them, they almost always change the way they react to us! And things can start to get better... .

I'm so happy to hear that you are planning on reading what you are able to find the time for... .When you have the chance to read the information around here, can you let us know what you think about it? I know that learning the communication tools (Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it and TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth) and applying them made things better in our relationship with out son immediately! I truly recommend checking it out... .

And you are right... .you've barely scratched the surface, for sure. You are in the right place for the information and support you need; we're here for you 24/7