Learning - Club Scene

[ThanksForPlaying]

I went out to a club with a friend tonight, just trying to get out of the house.

After about an hour of sitting around, a beautiful drunk girl came up to me, asked my name, age, and profession.  Apparently that was enough screening for her.  She disappeared for about 15 minutes, then came back, sat on my lap, and started making out with me.  She said "I'm being slutty" and told me she just got out of a long term relationship 2 mths ago.  I didn't offer my number, but she tried to give me hers.  We kind of got distracted and bottom line ... .We left and no number.

My buddies were distraught... .No way! How could you not get her number?

My past self probably would have either "rescued" her by driving her home, called her the next day, or somehow thought it was love at first sight.  I've had two BPD relationships that started with random club meetings.  I've learned that I must be a somewhat attractive guy and I probably appear reserved or alone at a club - I tend to just chill out and be a wallflower.  I am literally BPD bait.  They seek me out and kiss me!

I'm learning that's not a healthy start to a relationship and learning to see the red flags.  No thanks, I don't need your number.

[Lady31]

Hey Thanks, my fave is the "love at first sight" comment.  LOL.

Good for you for not getting sucked into that black hole.  Happy for you and looks like you are increasing your chances of finding a good relationship with a healthy woman.

[snappafcw]

Take it from me as a professional Nightclub DJ of 8 1/2 years

Your chances of meeting a nice girl in the club are almost the same as having a successful relationship with someone who has BPD and I wouldn't be surprised if BPD is more common than people realise in my industry because it is full of people who have very narc like tendencies. I love what I do but it is not a nice environment as it lacks the values I am looking for in people.

Congratulations for respecting your boundaries and not being caught in that fog

[Changingman]

I really like this post, I told a friend about BPD and got him to read some articles. He was shocked and asked how many people have this. I said anywhere from 3% to 8% . But where do they go if they are self medicating and want lots of men to sexually validate them? Pubs, clubs etc in these situations the % may go up to 50% or so. Just a thought.

[HarmKrakow]

I'm going to print this thread and put it in my agenda. It's EXACTLY how 1 of my r/s's went.

It's scary.

[HarmKrakow]

I went out to a club with a friend tonight, just trying to get out of the house.

After about an hour of sitting around, a beautiful drunk girl came up to me, asked my name, age, and profession.  Apparently that was enough screening for her.  She disappeared for about 15 minutes, then came back, sat on my lap, and started making out with me.  She said "I'm being slutty" and told me she just got out of a long term relationship 2 mths ago.  I didn't offer my number, but she tried to give me hers.  We kind of got distracted and bottom line ... .We left and no number.

My buddies were distraught... .No way! How could you not get her number?

My past self probably would have either "rescued" her by driving her home, called her the next day, or somehow thought it was love at first sight.  I've had two BPD relationships that started with random club meetings.  I've learned that I must be a somewhat attractive guy and I probably appear reserved or alone at a club - I tend to just chill out and be a wallflower.  I am literally BPD bait.  They seek me out and kiss me!

I'm learning that's not a healthy start to a relationship and learning to see the red flags.  No thanks, I don't need your number.

Seriously, I just thought about this again, and this is so typical how one went with me and all the mess after :D

Seriously SO typical...

[DragoN]

True Love Found in a Pub:

What do you get when you put a bunch of BPD's in a room together?

Answer: a lot of people standing around telling each other "I love you -  no I hate you".

[hopealways]

The BPD choose US, we never choose them.  They do sense the perfect BPD victim and go hard until they get him.

[DragoN]

The BPD choose US, we never choose them.  They do sense the perfect BPD victim and go hard until they get him.

That be also why my radar was screeching RED ALERT.    Quite some time ago... .

[hopealways]

That's one of the positives from the aftermath of dating a BPD: at least now we realize who they are and we stay away from them.  After my first relationship with a NPD I still did not know about the psychiatry behind it all, which allowed me to fall in the trap of this BPDex.  Had I known then what I know now I would have totally stayed away or at least not taken the girl so seriously.

[Aussie0zborn]

Well done! As my friend says, anyone who jumps into bed on the first night is good for that night only.

[Changingman]

I didn't even get a chance to kiss her, she just undid my trousers and ... .

Tried to have a true RS with her ! ha

[LA4610]

i went out for the first time last night since dating my exBPD too. man, i was just chill all night and had one girl who just kept coming up to me and trying to play the whole "you chase me i chase you game". granted, she never sat on my lap and made out with me, but i could and would have gotten her phone # in the past. not this time bro.    i am not messing with these petty women anymore. if there is any positive to the hell i felt and still feel from my exBPD it is that i will now HEAVILY SCREEN, take things slow, and look for a mature relationship.

PS NICE POST