Its been almost 6 months since the final breakup and 4 months strick NC. I have been doing a fair job of healing and detaching. I do my best to not talk about her or reminisce, though thoughts of her still wander around aimlessly in my head. I have even started to date though very slowly and cautiously.
Her ex husband calls me from time to time to get my advice on how to deal with her anger. I learned from her T after the breakup that she has BPD though not officially diagnosed. I have shared some information with her ex husband about it while not disclosing the actual disorder. All the while I just want to close that chapter of my life. However we each have sons from previous relationships that are good friends and in the same class at school so it is impossible to completely remove myself from involvement. As said there has been NC with the ex and I keep play dates limited to times when her son is at his dads. Hence the advice calls from her ex husband. There is a custody battle brewing since her son does not want to live with her anymore.
So yesterday I go out on my 3rd date with this woman that I have been interested in, my neighbors young cute daughter. After a couple of dinners I took her out for a day of sailing. I am not feeling the fire that I had felt with the exBPDgf but keep telling myself that maybe that is a good thing to take it slow and let something develop. So I drop her off at her house and go in for the kiss which is warmly accepted. Immediately my timidness skyrockets. Her lips felt so different than what I had become accustomed to and it actually felt strange rather than passionate but hey she is really cute and very sweet and I think she like me. I go home relatively excited and had made plans to have dinner at her place in a couple of days. Not ready to have her over to my place due to her parents, whom I am very close to, living directly across the street with a great view into my house. AWKWARD!
As soon as I get home the phone rings and it is the ex's ex husband. "You nailed it" he states. "Everything you said about her is dead on. She showed up with a new guy at the kids football game today." Up till this point I had to just assume she would find another victim though in her 36 years she has only been with her ex husband, me, and one other guy briefly in between. I was silent for a minute then got angry and told him I did not want to hear that and why in the world is he calling me to tell me that she has a new guy. He said that he was just wanting to tell me that I was right about her and everything I have warned and advised him about her is dead on.
Today I wake up just PISSED OFF! I had been doing so well detaching and moving on. Why in hell did he have to choose then to call me and tell me that. All the wind in my sails is gone. The excitement about the new girl I am seeing left with that conversation and got replaced with hurt anger and jealousy over my ex. Why why why do the gods of love feel like dumping on me like this. I'm going to just stay at home today because I really want to unload on someone right now.
