Newbie Intro

[autumnfall]

I am so relieved to find a site that is so relatable and helpful.   No one else I know am dealing with the same situations so it is so cool to be able to get perspectives from people "dealing" with it, experiencing it and "been there done that" and what has worked versus not.    The articles I've read here are outstanding in helping me understand my dd so thanks to all involved in this!  You are angels. 

My story... .Mom to 4 kids ages 13-18yrs, oldest (18 y/o) is the one impacted by BPD.  Over the past 2 years we have been dealing with probable bipolar, and she may still have some of this, I know it is not unusual to co-occur with BPD, but BPD seems to be the primary disorder by far.  Since Jr. High, she has cut, been depressed, we sought help, seh came out of it some, but Jr. year in HS went down the hsame path.  End of Jr. Yr was her first inpatient hospitalization for suicide attempt - for the next year, she was under some MH program (weve done partial day, outpatient, inpatient acute and residential) due to her depressions and manipulations - I am extremely greatful, she learned many tools about coping, and worked hard at recovering from her cutting behaviours so I wouldn't call it a waste, but it has been a heck of a year - she ended upo not graduating (her joice) but quitting school and finishing online her Sr. year.  lInstead of going to colledge as always assumed (She was extremely intelligent, top 2 percent of class blah blaf... .She is takimg 1 Jr. College course and is working as a Merry go round attendent at the local mall.  It has been a 180 let me tell ya! But, she is trying to cope, but often feels very overwhelmed, anxious and alternates from being almost a 5 yr old (asking for 50 hugs a day ... .no exagerration, wanting to cuddle on my lapl constantly) to being an sarcastic angry ""tween " mentality despite her age of 18 yrs.  She very talented musically but quit band and singin lessons.  Very artistic, but refused to engage in any art activities.  Excellent writer (she had a following on fan fiction and wrote a novel) but refuses to let any family (eexxcept me) read it or submit it to any contests or publishing.  Her "best friends" have cycled since Jr. high and always intense to start, turn to hate and nurt by the end.  I'm sure many of you have been through some of this. 

Well, glad to be here, expect I will learn alot from you all, and hope to be able to help others as well if any insight hits me!  Bless you all!  Sutumn Fall .     

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[GeekyGirl]

Hi autumnfall,

Welcome!   I'm sorry that you're having a hard time with your daughter. It sounds like she's had many ups and downs over the past few years, and I can imagine how hard that is as a parent.

You've come to the right place for support. There are many other parents here with children with BPD that can give you some candid advice and support.

How are your other children affected by your daughter's behavior? Is your daughter still in treatment?

You'll find some good tools here to take care of yourself, and ways to connect with others who truly understand what you're going through. I'd recommend that you start here: What can a parent do? (for parents of pwBPD).

Please keep posting and let us know how you and your daughter are doing.

-GG

[crazedncrazymom]

Welcome to the board!  I'm happy you found us.  I remember feeling that relief at finally finding people who understood what I was going through.  I think a lot of our kids are very left brain (creative) oriented.  They seem to have a lot of talent.

I hope you find the help and support you need here.

-crazed

[peaceplease]

autumnfall,

.  I am glad that you found this site, too.

Have you read the links on the right?  There is some great information here on communication techniques and in depth information on BPD.

You will find much support on this site.

peaceplease

[BioAdoptMom3]

  and  !

I am so sorry you feel the need to be here, but glad you found us! 

My DD is younger, 14, but I could have almost written your post - gifted, musically talented but dropped band as soon as she entered HS because she wants ROTC so she can join the army and go into combat  , doesn't want anymore voice lessons even though she says she is going to XFactor and is a very talented athlete, but quit her travel softball team this past August!  I don't know about yours, but once ours is away from the activity for several weeks or months, I think she fears failure and/or rejection so she wants to quit the activity. 

This place is very supportive and we will be here for you!