Having a mom with Bpd

[Dawn15]

I have a mom who has Bpd. Im 18 and not out of school yet I still live with my parents. My mom frustrates me so much and I'm not sure I understand it all just yet. We fight so much and I just can't take it anymore. She always try's to make us feel sorry for her. She steals my dad's medicines that help him get through the day and she doesn't care, but won't admit to it. (I know for a fact it's her) I never know how to say how I'm feeling and And I need to. My dad wants to be with her and so do I. I have thought of leaving with him and so has he but we can't we love her. I just don't know how to live with her. She has stolen my money, lied to me and steals from stores. I don't really know how to tell my story. This is just so hard for me... I can't take it anymore...

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, Dawn15 &  

I'm so very sorry for all the trauma you are having to go through with your Mom... .it's hard enough to be 18, but to have to deal with this pain and stress is tough. I'm so glad you found us  

Do you have any siblings? Any other relatives to get support from? Any teachers or friends to confide in? You can't deal with this all by yourself; I'm glad your father is an ally, but it sounds like he needs a support system as much as you do. Is your Mom diagnosed? Does she go to therapy? Is there any counseling or therapy available to you? Maybe through school? I'm sure you have a Guidance Counselor. Please see someone to help you figure out what to do... .Are you planning on going to college next year, and maybe leaving home to do that?

Here are some links that can help you right now:

Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD

Supporting a Loved-one with Borderline Personality Disorder

How To Manage a BPD Relationship/Reducing Anger Using SET

I know there's a lot of information there, but once you can start looking at your Mom with an understanding of what you (and she) are dealing with, you can start to figure out what to do next. I know that you and your Dad love her, and want to stay with her and help her, and that is so commendable... .To do that, please start reading all over this site to learn what you need to, to be able to take care of yourself as well as learning how to communicate with her in a way that doesn't push every one of her buttons.

Please hang around here, tell us more of your story, ask your questions, and read all you can. We are here for you, and want to help... .

[pessim-optimist]

Oh Dawn,

I am so sorry you are going through this at a time that you should be having fun and getting ready to spread your wings and explore the wonders of life... .

I hear you, having a mom w/BPD is really sad, confusing, maddening, frustrating, and many other emotions at the same time, and they swirl around in chaotic whirpool. Wanting to escape it all and have some peace and sanity is only natural. Wanting to stay at the same time, because you love her, is natural too... .

You have found a great place to share and look for support and answers to your questions. Welcome.   There are many people on this site who have had similar experiences, and will understand what you are going through. There's hope - with time you'll see that life can be manageable and fairly stable even with a mom who suffers from BPD... .

It's good to know that you and your dad have each other for support. How did you find out about BPD? Does he know about it too?

Welcome again, we are here to be there for you on your journey!