Broke NC in the smallest way... and turned out to be a disaster

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

She got very disregulated through travel.  She left for 3 weeks of travel and completely broke it off, asking that I return her things.  I was already resolved to the BPD at this point. I packed up multiple boxes and took them back to her house.  Three days later, she missed me and moved half the stuff back in, much of it in the same boxes.  We were more "together" than ever.

After one month of this, she had to leave again for 3 weeks.  I said "you remember what happened last time... .you probably won't want to talk to me when you get back."  She said "no way, this time is different."  Like clockwork her attitude began to change slowly as she was gone.  What started out as "I love you, I miss you" texts turned to ambiguity, then turned to full on "don't ever call me or text me or email me again".  All in the time we had not seen each other. I pointed out the dramatic change in attitude and she said "I'm an adult, I'm allowed to change my mind".  Writing it out here makes it sound even more absurd to me. I said ok, but I'll always love you.  NC began.

Sure enough, a few days after she returned, I got a message "please mail my [credit card] back to me".  Breaking NC with the slightest, most meaningless request. The credit card was the absolute most minor hassle she had.  She had nothing auto-paid on it, and the bank could have mailed a new one to her in two days, prob even faster than I could have mailed it.  She had boxes of clothes at my house that she didn't even want, just the card... .I said ill just drop it in your mailbox, it will take me 30 min... .She went on a tirade about how I'm such a terrible person that I won't mail her a card.  I said "you don't even have to see me, I'll just drop it in the mailbox."  She threatened to shoot me with her "guns in the house" if I stop by the mailbox.  I literally had to laugh at that.

There's absolutely nothing that happened to go from "I love you" to "I'll shoot you" except what's going on in her own head.  We hadn't even fought or seen each other for a few weeks.  I'm also 99% sure this wasn't cheating for various reasons that you'll have to trust me on... .It was pure psychology... .Only what you see in front of you is real... .Out of sight, out of love... .

In hindsight, I should have stuck with the NC that she asked for, and then she broke... .

[ThanksForPlaying]

She got very disregulated through travel.  She left for 3 weeks of travel and completely broke it off, asking that I return her things.  I was already resolved to the BPD at this point. I packed up multiple boxes and took them back to her house.  Three days later, she missed me and moved half the stuff back in, much of it in the same boxes.  We were more "together" than ever.

After one month of this, she had to leave again for 3 weeks.  I said "you remember what happened last time... .you probably won't want to talk to me when you get back."  She said "no way, this time is different."  Like clockwork her attitude began to change slowly as she was gone.  What started out as "I love you, I miss you" texts turned to ambiguity, then turned to full on "don't ever call me or text me or email me again".  All in the time we had not seen each other. I pointed out the dramatic change in attitude and she said "I'm an adult, I'm allowed to change my mind".  Writing it out here makes it sound even more absurd to me. I said ok, but I'll always love you.  NC began.

Sure enough, a few days after she returned, I got a message "please mail my [credit card] back to me".  Breaking NC with the slightest, most meaningless request. The credit card was the absolute most minor hassle she had.  She had nothing auto-paid on it, and the bank could have mailed a new one to her in two days, prob even faster than I could have mailed it.  She had boxes of clothes at my house that she didn't even want, just the card... .I said ill just drop it in your mailbox, it will take me 30 min... .She went on a tirade about how I'm such a terrible person that I won't mail her a card.  I said "you don't even have to see me, I'll just drop it in the mailbox."  She threatened to shoot me with her "guns in the house" if I stop by the mailbox.  I literally had to laugh at that.

There's absolutely nothing that happened to go from "I love you" to "I'll shoot you" except what's going on in her own head.  We hadn't even fought or seen each other for a few weeks.  I'm also 99% sure this wasn't cheating for various reasons that you'll have to trust me on... .It was pure psychology... .Only what you see in front of you is real... .Out of sight, out of love... .

In hindsight, I should have stuck with the NC that she asked for, and then she broke... .

[Ironmanrises]

She got very disregulated through travel.  She left for 3 weeks of travel and completely broke it off, asking that I return her things.  I was already resolved to the BPD at this point. I packed up multiple boxes and took them back to her house.  Three days later, she missed me and moved half the stuff back in, much of it in the same boxes.  We were more "together" than ever.

After one month of this, she had to leave again for 3 weeks.  I said "you remember what happened last time... .you probably won't want to talk to me when you get back."  She said "no way, this time is different."  Like clockwork her attitude began to change slowly as she was gone.  What started out as "I love you, I miss you" texts turned to ambiguity, then turned to full on "don't ever call me or text me or email me again".  All in the time we had not seen each other. I pointed out the dramatic change in attitude and she said "I'm an adult, I'm allowed to change my mind".  Writing it out here makes it sound even more absurd to me. I said ok, but I'll always love you.  NC began.

Sure enough, a few days after she returned, I got a message "please mail my [credit card] back to me".  Breaking NC with the slightest, most meaningless request. The credit card was the absolute most minor hassle she had.  She had nothing auto-paid on it, and the bank could have mailed a new one to her in two days, prob even faster than I could have mailed it.  She had boxes of clothes at my house that she didn't even want, just the card... .I said ill just drop it in your mailbox, it will take me 30 min... .She went on a tirade about how I'm such a terrible person that I won't mail her a card.  I said "you don't even have to see me, I'll just drop it in the mailbox."  She threatened to shoot me with her "guns in the house" if I stop by the mailbox.  I literally had to laugh at that.

There's absolutely nothing that happened to go from "I love you" to "I'll shoot you" except what's going on in her own head.  We hadn't even fought or seen each other for a few weeks.  I'm also 99% sure this wasn't cheating for various reasons that you'll have to trust me on... .It was pure psychology... .Only what you see in front of you is real... .Out of sight, out of love... .

In hindsight, I should have stuck with the NC that she asked for, and then she broke... .

In bold.

Bingo.