CPS, DV shelter, and State Mental Health Services

[secret keeper]

I had my 3 grandchildren ages 13,10,3 on and off since the 10 yr old was 2 and I basicly had her the majority of the time and have had my 3 yr old grandchild since birth.

My daughter their mother suffers from a BPD which became active in January 2013  she lost her job but also had a case against the company she was working for but due to the esculation of her illness it wasn't followed through. I petitioned UPC for hospital placement but it expired before the police officers could catch her to escort her to the hospital. I had to call Crisis because of her unpredictable behavior so they put a petition on her the police were able to catch her on the last day of the petition and take her to the hospital. She was released withing 48 hrs. I have called the police numerous times and Crisis on and off due to her behavior and to keep my grandchildren and I safe. She would disappear and they couldn't catch her. Right before the children were taken I tried to get into a DV shelter so I could move to a place where my daughter didn't know where I was. I was denied because they said I have a residents I have to be homeless to be accepted.

  I looked into getting a restraining or order of protection on her but because I do not have legal custody she could take her children from me at any given time I know for a fact she would do this. In the past she took them to a shelter so I couldn't have contact with them this was before the baby was born. I did have some paperwork that she did sign on them to give me guardianship back in 2011.  DES, the schools, doctors, and the probation department all excepted these documents.

CPS took my grandchildren according to the court records it was due to my daughers and my confrontation where she lost control. I called for help and also asked to get into a DV shelter temparily so that I could move my grandchildren and I to a place where she didnt know where we were. I was told  that I had a residents so I was not eligable. I have done everything by the book calling for help from the police, calling crisis. I do not know what I did wrong. CPS took them away from me and I am not even able to see them unless I am supervised.  They placed them with my oldest daughter she did everything they told her to. She is the sole provider for her two children but she still bought uniforms, clothes, took off work to get them to dentist, and doctor app.Then she has had to bring her work home because she has to put my 3 yr old granddaughter in daycare from 8am to 6pm. Being separated from me, and now having to spend 10 hrs with strangers how can that be good for my baby girl. My daughter also had to take her bottle away from her and potty train her. She was already beginning the process when she was with me. So she lost all her security in a month's time.  CPS decided that her 21 daughter suffers from depression so she could not take care of my 3 yr old granddaughter or be a part of supervision of me so I could take care of her. Yet the first case worker said that it was ok for me to live with my daughter so I could be with my granddaughters as long as I was not alone with them. 

My granddaughter has never been diagnosed by a doctor for depression. Actually she is pretty amazing she lost her father to suicide then grandmother (her fathers mother) passed away and then right after that (her fathers brother) her uncle  . She lost all her fathers family the year of her graduation. The awesome part is she did granduate she has a mother that never left her side and is there for her.  Yet CPS still wants to belittle my daughter and keep loading her up with things she has to do,

Friday night they took them away because she has a pool and they wanted her to put a fence around it ... .She does not have a money tree growing in her back yard. She called the city of Tempe and was told that there was not a law to have a fence around her pool. She has a den that opens up to an AZ room the only way to get to the pool is to have keys she has dead bolt on the den doors that is only key accessible and on her arcadia door she has a lock at the very top. All windows are locked from the outside and the doors also have dead bolts that are only key accessible. She did check into getting a fence the cost was  at least $1500.00.

This is not fair or good for my granddaughters they have been through enough and just as they start to get settled in .CPS takes them to be with strangers, they are loved by their aunt and cousins and I can be there to help out my daughter when she gets home. A police officer told be to get in contact 3 on my side news station and let you know how CPS is distroying 3 little girls lives that need there family not strangers in a group home the 3 year old has been  separated from her sisters and went to a foster home. My baby granddaughter has not stop crying for me since they took her.  Its not right. There has been no abuse or neglect on these little girls by my other daughter and myself, Is there any way that you can please help and expose what CPS is does to children. They need to be with family that love them.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Hello secret keeper,

I am so sorry that all of this is happening... .How long have the children been gone?

Is there a way for your other daughter to appeal with the authorities regarding the CPS and their demand that she put a fence around the pool?

[secret keeper]

My sister in law is going to make some calls tomorrow and hopefully she can help us with all the things we have to do. My daughter was told she needs to get her own lawyer but my sister in law said she doesn't and neither do I. I'm going to work on getting copies and list of Crisis calls and the times I petitoined, and had to have the police come to my house. I am also going to get some referrance letters... .The last counsler I went to told me that all that I was going through that I was handling it better than she thought she would be able to. I have alot of work ahead of me I just hope that I will get a response from the news station. My BPD daughter has been hospitalized 4 times in the mental ward only to stay for 48 hrs at the most and one of her stays was due to an intentional overdose. She was also released and still considered a danger to herself and others. She has also had at least 5 emergency hospital incidents due to getting hurt in some way not for sure how.  About a week ago she left me a message that she was in the process of committing suicide I called her clinic and the advice they gave me was to file another petition to hospitalize her and that they would bring it up to her team to discuss it by the time I did that, she said she had chewed up 6 Trazadone and was going to chew up some more when she got to the end of the block, it would be to late. I was in a panic but ended up calling Crisis which put me through to 911 I was 20 miles away so by the time I got to my house the cops had come and gone a friend of hers was with her. She was out of it but I could wake her up on and off so I dont know to this day whether she really did chew up the Trazadone or not. I was told I have to choose between her or my grandchildren. I just dont know why they couldnt remove her get her committed instead of taking the children from my house then took them from thier aunts house and now split them up so that the older girls are in a group home and the baby is in a foster home I think this is so cruel I know the baby is going through separation anxiety and isn't this one of the cause of BPD Thank you for helping me and bringing to my attention about having my daughter appeal this decision CPS has made

[secret keeper]

Hi pessim-optimist,

Oops they took the girls around 8PM Friday night.

[pessim-optimist]

Thank you for keeping us posted, secret keeper,

It is sad that the kids were taken from their aunt and separated... .Hopefully, this can all be straightened out fairly soon and the children reunited. It's usually best if they can stay with a relative.

Don't give up, sometimes it can take a while to sort things out and work things out with the authorities as they are working off of policies that don't always fit the unique situation... .

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, secret keeper... .Did your Sister-In-Law make her calls today? It seems like there should be something you and your daughter can do to be able to get those children back. I hope she is able to find something to make this work for you.

Is your daughter in some sort of treatment for her BPD? Would she agree to an inpatient program somewhere? Is she on Medicaid or something? Does she have a Therapist that she sees? Her situation sounds really traumatic; I'm so sorry for your whole family!

I'm sorry for all the stress and pain that you and your family is going through, and hope that your Sister-In-Law has been able to help you figure it all out... .Please keep us up-to-date 

[secret keeper]

Family pitched in to get a lawyer for me going to court on the 7th. My daughter and her two girls and I got to take my 2 older grandaughters that are in the group home trick or treating and then on Saturday all 3 girls got to go to the zoo and spend the day with us ... .3 yr old is having the toughest time seems very angry though everyone says she will be the one to adjust the easiest. So hard to say good bye  :'( Thank you all for your support

[secret keeper]

Got a call from my BPD's Public Defender she cant defend her because she is going to be labled incompetent to stand trial. She is in the psyc ward in the county jail at this time. I have been told that I have to make a choice between my BPD daughter n my granddaughters. Public Defender wants me to get a hold of BPDs doctor so she can get the meds she needs again between a rock n a hard place. How am I being the mother of a very sick child knowing her illness is active kick her to the curb.

[pessim-optimist]

Got a call from my BPD's Public Defender she cant defend her because she is going to be labled incompetent to stand trial. She is in the psyc ward in the county jail at this time. I have been told that I have to make a choice between my BPD daughter n my granddaughters. Public Defender wants me to get a hold of BPDs doctor so she can get the meds she needs again between a rock n a hard place. How am I being the mother of a very sick child knowing her illness is active kick her to the curb.

It's a hard choice - to be choosing between your daughter and grandchildren... .

I am not sure I understand: is the public defender talking about choosing between who you want to live at your residence? Would it be possible for you to have your BPD daugher and for your other daughter to end up with the children?