how much is too much?

[tnbh]

Hey yall. I have to say I'm really glad I found this place. I've learned quite a bit by reading the boards. So thanks!

I married a woman with BPD last December and have been separated with NC since June. I feel like such a failure for not bei.g able to hold things together.

This is where I wonder how much is too much? How much am I expected to take? I honestly didn't know the woman I was marrying. She's violent manipulative degrading and dangerous.

I chose to leave when she started putting down my 15 yo daughter (from a prior relationship). I could go on and on about what this woman has done to me. Yet I still love her and want her.to get help. I'd just like to know what the breaking points for you all were. Did you feel weak for giving up? Thanks

[Surnia]

Hi tnbh

So sorry to hear this, about your short marriage. 

I felt in someways the same thing about not being able to make my marriage work.

For me it was important to think about my values. How do I want be treated? How much respect is important to me? Where are my boundaries? And what you are saying about your daughter and about her being dangerous - I guess this is about healthy boundaries too.

This article could be helpful too for you: The Characteristics of Healthy Relationships